Breaking Ziva
by xenascully
Summary: You cannot read her mind, or see it on her face. But inside of her, lies demons... Some Tiva; slight Gabby, but then some McAbby
1. Chapter 1

** Breaking Ziva**

**Rated M- for violence, adult situations, well hell, I'm not giving it all away! If you're not a grown-up, you shouldn't read this! **

**Summary: You cannot read her mind, or see it on her face. But inside of her, lies demons...**

**Disclaimer- I don't own NCIS and its characters, but I'd gladly accept an invitation to work for the show ;)**

* * *

_You cannot read her mind, or see it on her face._

_But inside of her, lies demons._

_Monsters from her youth...and new monsters,_

_They collect in cages, rows, set in shelves _

_In the very depths of her mind_

_Locked in the little room she keeps them_

_Overflowing_

_Desperate to sweep them away_

_But too afraid to open the door and risk their freedom._

_Too afraid of who will see them_

_Who will turn her away once they know the truth_

_Once they realize she is not so strong as she seems._

_She longs for the destruction of that room_

_But is too afraid to open the door._

_So she places heavy guards around it_

_And seeks comfort in nothing more..._

_ --C.M.H. *_

* * *

_***Ziva lay in her bathtub, still clothed in but a white tank top and underwear. She is asleep, and the water is red with blood. The faucet still running, the water is rising around her...***_

* * *

"Where's Ziva?" Gibbs said as walked into the bullpen. "Thought you said you called an hour ago and she said she'd be here?"

"I did," Tony replied as he picked up his phone for the tenth time and dialed her number. "And I've been calling for the last twenty minutes. She's not answering." Gibbs squinted and turned to McGee.

"I called her too, Boss. No answer."

"Maybe her phone is dead?" Gibbs suggested.

"It's ringing," McGee replied, "If it were dead, it'd go straight to voice mail."

"She sounded kinda strange this morning," Tony said, a tone of worry in his voice. "Acting kinda strange yesterday, too."

Gibbs scratched the back of his head as he thought. She _had_ been acting a bit strange the day before. They'd thought nothing of it at the time. She'd been known to be in an odd mood now and then. But now he felt a strange gut feeling that something wasn't right.

"McGee, you keep trying to reach her," he said as he grabbed his gun and badge from his desk drawer, "Call me if she shows up here. Dinozzo, you're with me."

Tony grabbed his gear as well and quickly caught up with him at the elevator.

* * *

"Car's still here," Tony said as they passed it. Gibbs laid his hand on the hood, noting it was cold, and she'd not gone anywhere recently. They made their way to the door and Tony knocked. He peeked through the window next to the door. "Ziva?" he yelled out. Then his eye caught something..."Boss..." he didn't look away.

Gibbs looked through the window where Tony was indicating. Light spilled from under the bathroom door down the hall. And water had begun to pool out from under it. He reached for the handle and turned it, surprised to find it unlocked, and they ran in with guns aimed around the room. "Ziva?" Gibbs yelled as they approached the bathroom. That door _was_ locked.

"Ziva, can you hear me?" Tony yelled, "We're coming in!" he kicked the door under the handle and the door shot open. What they saw, they'd never expected.

A moment of shear panic and fear spread over their faces...

_***Ziva lay in tub before them, bloody water surrounding her, and her face just below the waterline...***_

* * *

**You know how I am with the stand-alone opening ;). Next chapter will be up soon! **

***The poem at the top—by C.M.H...that's me, btw. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay I guess it's necessary to explain my asterisk usage...when you see the *****_**italicized*****_** writing, that signifies the black and white still shot screen shot we usually see on the actual show. That's for those of you who haven't read that explanation in 'My Father's Keeper' which was my last fic before this one. Also, this fic will remain rated T until there's an M scene. If I get to the scene and haven't changed the rating as a whole, please let me know lol.**

* * *

Tony was in full panic mode as he lept into action. He immediately knelt next to the tub, pulling her face from the water. "Ziva, can you hear me?" he asked, to no avail. He reached into the water with both hands, grasping around her small frame and pulled her from the water, her white clothing stained a sickly pink. Gibbs was suddenly there, after having called an ambulance, and when Tony pulled her against him, ready to lay her down, the maneuver forced the water from her lungs and she began to cough the offensive liquid onto his shirt.

"Ziva, what happened?" Gibbs said as he knelt beside them. She answered with simple moans, as her eyes refused to focus. That's when both men noticed the origin of the blood...her wrists were cut. And in the sink behind them was a knife, the blade riddled with her blood.

"Zee, what'd you do?" Tony asked, his voice cracking from the fear and anguish that suddenly hit him like a freight-train. As he cradled her in his arms he looked up at his Boss who was grasping for towels.

"Bring her out to the living room," he said. Tony complied, laying her down on the couch and pulling a blanket down that had been draped along the back of it. He covered her half-naked form as her chin quivered from the cold that now consumed her. "Hold these on her wrists till the EMTs get here," Gibbs told him as he handed over the towels.

As he began to walk out of the room, dialing McGee's number, he overheard Tony as he spoke to Ziva. "Ziva, I'm sorry," he said softly, "I didn't know...I shoulda c-..." he stopped and tried to swallow away the lump in his throat. His eyes stung.

Gibbs put his phone to his ear as he heard McGee's voice on the other line. "McGee...I'm gonna need you at Ziva's. And I need you to keep quiet about it."

_"Boss, is everything okay? Something happen to Ziva?"_

"Just need ya here," he said and ended the call. As he gripped the phone, he saw his hand shaking and he bit back the tears that threatened to fall. _'Why didn't I see it?'_ he questioned. The fact was that he didn't. Ziva wouldn't do this. Would she?

He dialed Ducky's number. Didn't even hear it ring before the doctor picked up on the other end. _"Jethro?" _he asked when he heard nothing on the other line. He'd seen the caller ID before he'd picked up the phone.

"Duck, I need you to go to Bethesda," he said as he saw the ambulance pull up outside. "Ziver's about to be taken there...I need you to be there with her..."

_"What's happened, Jethro?"_ concern was clearly marked in his voice.

"I...I dunno yet," he replied, "She may have tried to...kill herself..." his hand shot up to his face to swipe away a rogue tear. "I gotta go, Duck."

* * *

McGee walked into the apartment, unsure of what to expect. His head turned towards the living room to find Tony sitting on the edge of the couch, his head in his gloved hands.

"Tony?" he said as he walked towards him. The agent looked up, dropping his hands away and reaching for an evidence bag that sat on the coffee table in front of him. "What happened? Where's Ziva?" Tony handed the bag to him.

"This needs to go to Abby," he responded flatly. That's when Tim noticed the bloody towel laid over his lap.

"What the hell happened, Tony?" he asked more urgently. Tony flinched at him, then looked over toward the bathroom door. Tim followed his line of sight and his eyes scanned the wet floor as he made his way to the bathroom. When he caught sight of the tub filled with bloody water, he was confused. "Whose blood is that?" he asked out loud. "Did she kill someone?...That's not her blood...is it?"

"It's Ziva's," Tony said, who was suddenly next to him. McGee looked at him and back to the tub...then back at him again.

"Who did this?" he asked him.

"Looks like Ziva did," Tony turned away from him and headed out the front door for some air, as he felt a wave a nausea. McGee looked down at the evidence bag containing the bloody knife. He put the pieces together in his head. "Is she dead?" he asked no one in particular.

"No," Gibbs said, coming from the bedroom with another evidence bag in his hand. "She's at Bethesda." Gibbs looked at the prescription bottle he'd bagged, and turned it over in his hand.

"What are we doing here?"

"Trying to find out _why_," he explained. Tim searched the air between them.

"She seemed preoccupied yesterday...I asked her if she was okay...I shoulda...I shoulda tried harder to talk to her..." Tim felt a wave of guilt.

"We all should have..." he said, handing him the other bag, "Get those to Abby," he told him as he walked past him to the kitchen.

Gibbs looked around the counters, not sure really what he was looking for. He walked up to the coffee pot and switched it off. There was nothing to look for...his heart sank in his chest and he leaned on the counter as he breathed...

* * *

"Hey, McGee," Abigail Sciuto said as Tim walked into the lab. "Why the long face?"

"Gibbs wanted me to bring these to you," he said flatly.

"I didn't know you had a case?" she took the bags from him and set them on the table, picking up the bagged knife for a moment.

"Officially...we don't," he said quietly. Abby looked at him in question. "I don't think Gibbs wants this out in the open..." Abby looked down at the prescription bottle, set down the knife and picked up the other bag.

"This is Ziva's," she said, looking back at him. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"We're not sure...but it looks like..." he hesitated, "Ziva may have tried to kill herself."

"No, Tim," she said confidently. "There's no way she would do that."

"How do you know, Abs?"

"I just do..." she said as she put on a pair of latex gloves.

"You don't know anything," he said, his eyes reddening. She looked at him. "The bathtub was filled with bloody water...there's a knife...an empty bottle of sleeping pills. What does that tell you?" Her eyes became glassy.

"Is she..."

"No," he answered quickly, "She's at Bethesda."

"What's her condition?"

"I don't know, Abby," he said in frustration, "Just...just see what you can find..."

* * *

Gibbs listened to Ducky who was briefing him on Ziva's condition, but looking through the ICU window at his unconscious agent in the hospital bed, and Tony, sitting in the chair beside her.

"She had around forty-five milligrams of zolpidem tartrate in her system, Jethro," Ducky told him. "Not enough to kill her, but certainly enough to cause her light comatose state." Gibbs nodded, not looking away from his agents.

Her wrists were covered by bandages, and restraints held them to the bed. Tony was obviously distressed; his elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded, both pointer fingers extended up over his mouth and the tip on his nose. His left leg twitched nervously; his heel repetitively lifting from the floor in a rhythm too quick to count.

"I know it must be difficult to see her this way, Jethro," Ducky tried to divert his attention from the room beside them. And Gibbs did look away from the room, but not at Ducky. His eyes fell to the floor. "Did she give you any indication...any sign that she was depressed?"

"You know Ziva, Duck."

"Well, I thought so," he replied. "She doesn't exactly wear her heart on her sleeve, but I would never have imagined she'd...well..." he decided the sentence didn't need to be completed. "Anthony said she'd been acting strangely yesterday. Did she say anything? Did she talk to you?"

Gibbs tried to recall the day before...

* * *

**24 hours earlier...**

Ziva strolled into the bullpen just a little late. Her face was expressionless and she seemed preoccupied. Her hair was just a bit displaced and her eyes were tired.

"Rough night?" Tony smirked in her direction. She glanced at him, without a change in her expression as she sat at her desk. Then she looked away at her computer screen. Tony's agenda to antagonize her melted away with along with his grin. "You okay?"

"I just need coffee," she said eventually and stood to go to the cafeteria and fetch some.

"What'd you say to Ziva?" McGee asked after he'd passed her rounding the corner.

"I didn't say anything!" Tony defended.

"She looked like she was gonna cry. You said nothing?"

"She was crying?" Tony softened.

"No...she looked like she was going to..." McGee sat at his desk.

"That's not the same thing," he quipped. Then he thought for a moment, and stood from his desk to go to the cafeteria.

*~.~*

"Where's Dinozzo?" Gibbs asked when he walked into the bullpen.

"You just missed him," McGee answered. "Went down to the cafeteria."

"I just came from there," he said.

"Oh...uh. Well, he was going to find Ziva."

"She forget her way?"

"No," he seemed to be confused by the questions, "I mean...she said she was going for coffee. She seemed upset about something, so Tony went to find her." Gibbs squinted as he thought, then turned to walk back out of the bullpen to find them.

*~.~*

When Tony didn't find Ziva in the cafeteria, he turned around, thinking he'd simply missed her somewhere along the way. But he saw her coming from the bathroom; she'd fixed her hair.

"Thought you were going for coffee," he said as he caught up with her.

"Changed my mind," she replied flatly.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he grabbed her shoulder, causing her to stop and face him. She looked at him then; the whites of her eyes were speckled with tired pink veins. But her expression remained.

"I told you, I am fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I am just tired, Tony," she said softly. "If you must pry into my personal life, I started a new sleep medication last night. It...did not agree with me."

"And you don't want coffee now?" he questioned. She turned from him and headed back toward the bullpen.

"What's going on, Dinozzo?" Gibbs asked quietly as he stepped out from behind the corner.

"Don't know, Boss," he said. "She says she's just tired."

"Then she's probably just tired," he said, then turned to make his way back to the bullpen as well...

* * *

**Present Time**

"She said she was tired," Gibbs told Ducky. "Started some new sleep meds...they didn't agree with her. What does that mean?"

"Well...perhaps she didn't like the way they made her feel," Ducky said. "Or perhaps they didn't work as well as she'd hoped, which would explain why she took so much more."

"Could they have made her suicidal?" he searched for explanation from his friend.

"While some studies show suicide attempts as a rare side effect of the drug, she just began the medication, and these studies were mostly geared toward withdrawal after long-term usage." Gibbs was quiet as he looked back into the room at his senior agent, who'd begun pacing the room. "This isn't your fault, Jethro," he moved closer to his friend.

"I shoulda talked to her."

"You couldn't have known."

"Tony saw something was wrong, and I told him to drop it," he argued. Ducky took a breath, realizing that he wouldn't win this battle.

"She's alive," he said, "And when she wakes up, you _can_ talk to her."

*~.~*

Tony stopped in his tracks and turned to Ziva when he heard her begin to stir. He walked to her side and took her hand. "Ziva?" he said quietly. She groaned and opened her eyes. She wanted to rub them, but she found she was held back.

"Where am I?" she said, now fully awake. "Why am I tied down?" she began to panic.

"Zee, calm down," Tony put his other hand on her arm.

"I will calm down when you take these things off of me!" she yelled. Gibbs stormed into the room followed by a nurse.

"Are these really necessary?" Tony asked the nurse, pointing the restraints.

"Suicide patients need to be restrained until they can be assessed by our psychologist," the nurse replied.

"I am not a suicide patient!" Ziva yelled. The room quieted. Gibbs glared at the nurse.

"I'll...leave for a few minutes," she said and left the room.

"You don't remember what you did this morning?" Gibbs asked her.

"I got out of bed and had a cup of coffee," she stated, "And Tony called...and I told him I'd be leaving soon to come to work..." and then her eyes began to search the air between them.

"You don't remember taking pills?" Tony asked, gripping her hand a little tighter. She looked at him.

"I didn't take any pills."

"We found an empty bottle of sleeping pills on your nightstand," Gibbs said softly as he made his way to the other side of her bed.

"I threw them away yesterday," she said. "I took one of them two nights ago, and it made me feel...disconnected. I threw them away."

"You don't remember...cutting yourself?" Tony's voice cracked. Gibbs swallowed as he awaited her answer. They watched her look down at her wrapped wrists in astonishment.

"I did not...cut myself," she said as she began struggling against the restraints, tears forming in her eyes. "Please...please take these off of me," her voice shook and the tears fell. They couldn't stand there and let her like that. Simultaneously, Gibbs and Tony removed the restraints from either arm.

She brought her freed hands closer to her and began tearing at the bandage on her left wrist.

"Hey, what're you doin', Ziva?" Gibbs tried to stop her.

"I did not do this!" she said as she dodged him and removed the rest of the bandage. She looked at the sewn up wound, astonished for a moment, then held it up to them. "If I had wanted to kill myself, I would have done it right."

Tony flinched at the wound, but understood immediately what she meant. The cuts were across her wrist; not vertical. He looked at Gibbs who seemed to have the same number of questions running through his mind.

"I do not feel so good," Ziva said, and they looked at her. Her face suddenly changed color and Tony quickly grabbed a bed pan and held it in front of her and she vomited into it. She gripped the sides of the pan as she continued to heave, though nothing else came up. At the sight of her struggling, Tony couldn't help but to put his hand on her back.

"I think it's time for you to leave," the nurse said as she came back into the room.

"Please do not leave me here," she looked at Gibbs, her breathing labored from her heaving. His brow furrowed as her searched her eyes.

"Any way to speed up the psychological exam?" he asked the nurse.

"He's on his way," she answered.

"Ducky's gonna stay here," he told Ziva. "And he's gonna call me when the exam is over."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Back to your apartment," he said, and he took her hand in both of his. "We're gonna figure this out, Ziva," he looked at her with sad eyes. He let go of her hand and walked to the door, turning to Tony. "Bag that," he said, motioning to the bedpan he still held, before leaving.

"Do you believe me, Tony?" she asked as she looked at him. His eyes darted back and forth between hers. He swallowed as he nodded. She saw the pain in his eyes and looked down in her lap.

"I wish you woulda talked to me," he barely whispered.

"Then you do not believe me," she looked back up at him with glassy eyes.

"I want to..."

* * *

**Okay I promised more to be up tonight, so here it is. More should be up tomorrow. ****Hope you like it so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you believe her?" Tony asked his boss, quietly as they rode in the car towards Ziva's apartment. Gibbs glanced at him briefly, then back at the road. Tony was staring down at the floor; his face, a picture of resentment.

"I believe...she doesn't remember," he said. "And I think we owe it to her to find the truth." Tony looked over at his boss for a moment, then back down at his feet. The car remained silent for a long moment before he spoke again. "Shoulda trusted you," he said. Tony looked back at his boss, who was clearly troubled.

"Boss..."

"No," he said, not looking away from the road, "You thought somethin' was up, and I dismissed it."

"I didn't stop trying," he said. Gibbs glanced at him again. "Tried to get her to talk to me before we left work. She just wanted to be left alone," he looked back down at the floor. "I feel like something happened...someone must've done something to hurt her...for her to do something like that." Gibbs remained silent as he considered his words. "Did you see the way she whacked out when she realized she was restrained?"

"I dunno, Dinozzo. I think I'd be pretty pissed if I woke up restrained."

"Pissed, yeah. She was mortified."

"You think she..." Gibbs couldn't even continue the question.

"I pray to God I'm wrong," Tony's voice shook. "Of course, I have my suspicions that happened a long time ago." Gibbs glanced in his direction again in question. "In Somalia." He saw him nod from the corner of his eye.

"That was a long time ago...doesn't explain why she'd wanna die now."

"In Somalia, when they brought her into the room...she said she was ready to die." Gibbs swallowed.

"Could she have been holding onto to that this whole time...not talking to anyone?"

"Ziva deals with things in her own way," Tony replied. "I just never thought it'd be like _this_..."

Gibbs' phone rang and he fished for it in his pocket then put it to his ear, "Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Gibbs," _Abby's voice sounded on the other line. _"I ran the prints on the knife. They belong to Ziva,"_ she told him. He wasn't surprised, but his heart sank a little further. _"But there's something I need to ask you."_

"What?"

_"Did she slit her wrists?" _her question stung him.

"Yeah..." he answered, his voice low.

_"Well I don't think she did this, then."_

"Why do you say that?"

_"Ziva's prints are on the handle, but there's only one set...from her left hand. If she slit both wrists..."_

"She woulda cut one with her left, then put the knife in her right hand to cut the other..." Gibbs concluded.

_"Someone wore gloves, cut her, then put the knife in her left hand to make sure it looked like she did it."_

"That's good work, Abs," he said before ending the call and stepping harder on the gas pedal.

"What's up, Boss?" Tony inquired.

"Ziva didn't cut her wrists..."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ 

Tony was dusting for prints in Ziva's bathroom as the water drained in the tub. The problem was that he wasn't finding any...not even Ziva's. He found his own on the edge of the tub, from when he'd pulled her out. He knelt there for a moment, the memory of her lying there...flooding into his mind like a nightmare.

The sound of the final bits of water being sucked into the drain, ripped him from the recollection, and his eyes shot to the noise it made. There, at the drain, was a latex glove...suddenly a thought became clear in his mind...

**3 hours earlier...**

_He laid her in the half-filled tub; her unconscious body, like dead weight in his hands. But when he pulled his hands away, one of his gloves slipped off beneath her, and it a panic, he pushed himself up, his bare hand supporting him on the shower wall..._

** Present time...**

Tony dusted the shower wall...

*~.~*

Gibbs frantically pulled apart Ziva's bedroom. He wasn't sure what else he was looking for. He had a gut feeling he was missing something. He knelt down on the floor next to her bed and looked under it, shining his flashlight in the darkness. He reached out for her cell phone that lie just under the edge, and sat back up on his knees. His eyes went to the nightstand. There was an alarm clock next to the small lamp. And a small circle...too small to have been from a glass. It was the same spot he'd picked up the prescription.

Then, his eyes squinted at the little mark the bottle had left, as he thought...

** 4 hours earlier...**

_A man walked into the bedroom, his gloved hand setting the empty prescription bottle on the nightstand...its underside unknowingly wet from wherever he'd brought it in there from..._

**Present time...**

Gibbs stood and walked into the kitchen as Tony came in with an evidence bag. "Found a glove in the bath tub, and a partial hand- print on the shower wall," He told his boss and watched him go to the kitchen sink. "Find anything in the bedroom?"

"No...just more questions," he said as he picked up the empty coffee mug and inspected it. Tony stepped closer to him. "Said she had coffee this morning."

"Yeah, she was drinking it when I talked to her," Tony replied.

"No other used glasses," he said as he set the cup back into the sink. "Take that many pills, she woulda had to have some water, don't ya think?" Tony's eyes went to the coffee machine. He set the evidence bag down on the table and went to the machine, pulling it forward on the counter.

"Boss," he said as he glanced into the top where the filter lie. Gibbs walked up and looked at his findings. "Looks like more than coffee grounds..."

**4 hours earlier...**

_The gloved man waited for Ziva to leave the kitchen and get into the shower, before he opened the top of the coffee pot where she'd just begun the brewing. He made a hole in the grounds in the __center, and dumped the contents of the prescription bottle into it. The bottle grazed the steamy lid, the perspiration collected around the bottom of the bottle..._

**Present time...**

"Let's get that to Abby," Gibbs said, collecting the bag Tony had set down on the table, and headed out the front door.

* * *

"Doctor Mallard," the psychologist walked out of Ziva's room and over to Ducky. Ducky stood as he approached. "I just finished speaking with Miss David," he told him. "I wasn't able to finish the examination, as the drugs are still in her system making her drowsy and drift in and out of sleep. But from what she's told me so far, I have to say...she seems slightly depressed about some events from her past. But I don't think this was a suicide attempt."

"My I ask how it is you came to that conclusion?" Ducky asked.

"Call it a hunch," the doctor said with a small smile.

"Sounds like someone I know," Ducky smirked.

"Miss David seems to an honorable woman. Loyal to her friends and happy with her life," he said. "Something is haunting her from her past, but she seems to have her own way of dealing with it. If it turns out this _was_ an attempt on her life, I don't believe she was aware that she was doing it. The overdose of zolpidem could have caused her inhibitions to drop dramatically. This may have simply been a way to get someone's attention...a cry for help..."

* * *

**18 hours earlier...**

"McGee, I know you are just trying to help," Ziva told the agent as they rode down in the elevator, "But I am telling you, I am fine," she leaned back on the elevator wall.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just felt like something was bothering you...that you might wanna talk."

"Well, I do not..."

**Present time...**

"Probie!" Tim was pulled from his memory when Tony shouted. The agent was standing in front of his desk looking down at him.

"What to you want?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"I was asking you if you'd heard from Ducky."

"No...how's Ziva?"

"Alive..." he said simply and strode to his desk.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Briefly."

"What'd she say? Why did she do it?"

"She didn't," Tony replied, looking over at him from his chair. Tim furrowed his brow in question. "Found prints in the bathroom after Abby called. And someone laced her coffee grounds with the meds. Abby's running it now to confirm."

* * *

"Coffee grounds and 200mgs of zolpidem," Abby told Gibbs as the results popped up on the screen. "Looks like he emptied the entire bottle in, but only about 100mgs dissolved into the actual carafe. Looks like she made enough for two cups, but only got through the first. She probably started to feel the effects at that point..."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

**3 hours earlier...**

_Ziva barely made it to the sink and set the mug down in it. Everything was blurring over...she needed to call Gibbs...tell him she was too tired to come in..._

_ She made it to her bed, sitting down and reaching for her phone on the nightstand, but her fingers refused to grasp it, and it fell to the floor, sliding gracefully under the bed. She couldn't keep her eyes open any longer..._

_ The gloved man came out from where he hid and picked up the unconscious girl..._

* * *

"The drugs were probably a means to sedate her so he could get her into the tub and make it look like a suicide," Abby said.

"No signs of resisting..." Gibbs concluded.

"He must've known her, to know she would've fought back and won."

"Any hits on the prints?" he asked, and AFIS suddenly pulled up on the screen with results.

"Oo, you're good, Gibbs," she smirked as she clicked on the program. "Akim Hadar," she said.

"That a Hebrew name?" Gibbs squinted at the screen.

"Yup, but it looks like he's an American citizen as of a year ago. He currently works..." she paused at her findings, then turned quickly to Gibbs, "As a custodian at Bethesda..."

Gibbs' expression paled and he turned and picked up his cell...

* * *

**Little bit more for you before I get out to work! I'll have more up tonight :)**


	4. Chapter 4

"Duck, are you in the room with Ziva?" Gibbs said into his phone.

_"Yes, Jethro, is something the matter?"_

"The guy who did this to her works in Bethesda. His name is Akim Hadar. Go to the nurse desk, tell them to call security and find him if he's there."

_"Do you think she's in danger?" _

"It's highly possible he's working for Eli. I don't know if he's aware she's alive, Duck, but please keep an eye on her till we can get there. We're on our way."

*~.~*

Ducky hurried to the nurse desk to relay what Gibbs had told him. As he spoke, his eyes scanned the room. He was afraid for Ziva...the poor girl's father sending a hit out on her life... This would destroy her, even if he didn't succeed.

He'd been made aware long ago, what he'd sent her into in Somalia. A suicide mission, indeed. She had walked away from that a different woman. Now he was trying to finish her off...and the way it was being attempted, was in every way, to hide that it was Mossad. Destroy her, and make her look like a coward.

Dr. Mallard was stricken with a sadness for Ziva. He walked back into the room to her sleeping form. They had permanently removed the restraints after the psychologist's examination. Now they were waiting for an open room outside of ICU.

A few minutes went by before he saw security guards coming toward the room. He stood and went to the door and they spoke with him.

"Are you Dr. Mallard?" one of them asked.

"Yes, did you find him?"

"Didn't report to work today, Sir," he told him. "But we've got officers posted throughout the building. If he shows up, we'll find him."

"Thank you," Duck said as he turned back into the room and sat back down in the chair next to Ziva's bed.

"What is with the guards, Ducky," Ziva said as she opened her eyes. "First restraints and now I need to be guarded?" she was disgusted by the insinuation.

"I didn't know you were awake," he replied, uncomfortable now. He didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. He wasn't even sure the man was actually Mossad. "They're not here to protect you from yourself, Ziva. They're here to protect you from...the man that did this to you." Her eyes went to him now.

"Gibbs found something," she concluded.

"I'm not sure what, but he seemed pretty convinced on the phone."

"Does he know who did it?" she sat up straight as she asked him. Ducky looked away in hesitation.

"He said the man's name is Akim Hadar," he told her as he looked back over at her. She suddenly looked as if he'd kicked her in the gut.

"Just when I started to believe Eli would let me be..." she said in barely a whisper.

"Then you know this man?" Ducky asked her softly, putting his hand on her arm. She looked at him again.

"We have never met," she answered, "But if his mission was to kill me, and he discovers he failed...he will come back to finish the job." She pulled away from him and stood from the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"We must leave here," she said as she found her clothes and started stepping into her pants. "This is the first place he will look for me."

"Gibbs is on his way here," Ducky argued, "Why not wait for him?"

"Because it could be too late then," she said, turning around to take off the hospital gown and begin to slip on her shirt. Ducky turned away to give her privacy.

"Where will we go?" he asked.

"To NCIS," she replied. "You will take me, yes?"

"Of course," he said, "I should call Jethro and let him know..."

"Let him know what?" they heard Tony as he entered the room. Ziva turned to him as he walked up to her.

"Akim works for Eli," she told him. "He will be back to finish the job."

"Gibbs is downstairs talking to management," Tony told her. "They said he didn't show up to work today. He's probably half way across the ocean by now."

"He would not leave without confirmation," her eyes bore into his. "We should leave here. It is not safe." Her eyes were distracted toward the guards as they talked into their radio transmitter and hurried away from the door. "They may have found him," she said, and Tony turned around. "The guards just left. We should find out where they are going."

"Stay here," he said as he made his way to the nurse station. Ziva looked over at Ducky briefly before she sat to put on her shoes.

"Did you know your father was going to do this?" he asked, softly. She looked back at him.

"Eli has not been my father in a long time, Ducky," she said flatly. He walked over to her.

"I am so sorry, Ziva," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, her eyes darting back and forth between his.

"There is no need to be," she said. "My family is _here_ now." She gave him a small smile. He returned it.

"I'm very honored, and glad that you know that," he took her hand in both of his, "We all care about you very much."

"And I care about all of you," she stood and hugged him, "I am sorry that you were so worried about me." He gently pulled away from her and started towards the chair to fetch his coat.

"Well, as Connie Ten Boom once said, 'Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear," he gave a small laugh. She smirked at him as Tony entered the room again.

"Gibbs called," he told her, "They found a dead custodian in the janitor's closet. He's on his way there. Could be Hadar." Ziva looked past him out into the hall. The nurse station was empty. Her eyes darted around as a thought ran through her head.

"It is a distraction..." Ziva said, and Tony took a moment to register what she'd said, and as her eyes grew wide, he spun around to see what she was looking at.

There in the window, stood Akim...his silenced gun coming up to aim at Ziva...


	5. Chapter 5

There was no time to pull out his weapon...Tony had no other option in his mind but to step to the right as Akim fired the gun. Time slowed then for Tony...he watched the bullet pass through the glass and hit him under the ribcage. He heard another shot...he did not fall. He stood to block anything else that could come through. But only a single shot had hit him.

He watched Akim's body fall to the ground...Gibbs had shot him. And he came to the window in a frenzy, hoping Akim had missed his target. But he didn't expect to see what he did...

"Tony!" Ziva yelled as she went to his side. Gibbs was frozen at the window that separated them...until Tony began to fall. "Tony, no!" Ziva cried as she caught him and lowered them to the floor. Gibbs was yelling...calling for doctors. Ducky ran out to help.

"Zee," Tony said, unable to resist the urge to swallow. Her hand pressed against the wound. "I'm sorry..." he squeaked out. Ziva shook her head, her brow furrowed in fear and concern. "Sorry I didn't believe..." he began to gag and blood dripped from his mouth.

"Never apologize," she said through tears. He tried to focus on her face through the pain.

"Don't cry," he said through labored breath. She tried to blink them back. "I...love you." Her eyes glassed over as they searched his. "Always loved you."

"Tony...you are _not_ going to die," she said.

"Sorry...I never told you..."

"Dinozzo," Gibbs walked into the room and knelt beside his senior agent. "Doctors are on their way up. You're gonna be okay."

"Boss...," Tony's hand went over Ziva's on his bleeding wound. "Didn't have time...to draw my sig."

"It's okay, Tony," Gibbs put his hand on Tony's arm, "We got him."

"Sorry..." he squeaked, "About...this."

"Where are the doctors?" Ziva yelled, and only moments later, they swarmed into the room, asking the agents to step aside so they could work.

"Ziva," Tony called to her as they put him on a gurney. She looked at him. "I meant...what I said." He was rushed out of the room towards the O.R.

Ducky stood there with the two agents in the newly silent room. Only the sound of Ziva's breathing could be heard.

"He stepped in front of that bullet to save me," she said with a shaky voice. Gibbs turned to her. She was staring down at her hand that was covered in Tony's blood. "Why did he do that, Gibbs?" she looked up at him with new tears falling down her cheeks. Gibbs furrowed his brow and put his hands on her arms.

"'Cause he cares about you."

"If he dies, I-"

"He's not gonna die."

"I would never forgive myself..." she looked over at the hole in the glass.

"Don't say that, Ziva. This isn't your fault."

"How is it not my fault?" she looked into his eyes. "The man that lies dead in the hallway was sent to kill _me_! And now Tony...he should not have..." she broke down and he pulled her to him and stroked the back of her hair in effort to comfort her. "He should not have done that," she cried into his chest.

Gibbs kissed her hair. "He had to..."

* * *

Jimmy Palmer drove the M.E truck as he and Ducky transported Akim's body to NCIS. He kept glancing over at the doctor whose elbow was propped up at the bottom of the passenger door window, slightly balancing his chin on his fist. He was silent; staring out the window.

"Something you need, Mr. Palmer?" he asked without changing his position.

"No...sorry, Doctor Mallard. It's just that...well, I'm not used to riding in the same vehicle as you without some sort of conversation." Ducky did look over at him them.

"Well...yes, I suppose I am a bit preoccupied. My apologies."

"Guess I can't blame you. You had a difficult day."

"Yes...it's not every day I fear finding a colleague on one of my cold tables," he shifted a bit in his seat. "I just pray that close calls will be close calls, and nothing more."

"No more word on Tony?"

"He was still in surgery when we left...Agent Gibbs will call me when he gets word..."

* * *

Ziva stood leaning on her side against the wall, watching the O.R door down the hall. Gibbs sat across the hall from her in a waiting area, his elbows propped on his knees. He looked up at her.

"A watched pot never boils," he told her. She turned her head to him.

"It does...but I understand what you mean," she said, then looked back down the hall. They were both silent for a moment.

"When did you start having trouble sleeping?" he asked unexpectedly. She looked down at the floor ahead of her.

"I have not slept well in a long time. Not since Somalia." she answered.

"But only recently tried to get help?" She looked at him again. After a moment she pushed off of the wall and started to walk away toward the front entrance. Gibbs squinted at the empty space in front of him for a moment, then stood to follow her.

When he finally caught up with her, they were outside. Ziva was a considerable distance ahead of him. "Ziva!" he yelled, and she stopped. She hadn't expected him to follow. She wasn't going to leave. Her intentions had simply been to avoid the question. But as she turned, she accepted the inevitable.

As he approached her, her eyes were looking away from him. He recognized the fear on her face and slowed his pace as he reached her. He didn't speak at first. He wanted to give her the chance to volunteer the information. But as he watched her composure, he realized she was attempting to hide it away.

"What has you so afraid, Ziva?" he asked in barely a whisper. Her eyes shot to his.

"Why do you desire to reopen old wounds?" she asked angrily. His response was a questioning squint. "You wish for me to put my heart on my shirt for you," she said, and he decided against correcting her. "But you do not realize you are asking me to open haunted doors...when I open them, they possess me and I cannot think of anything else," she explained as her eyes became red.

"We all have demons, Ziva...I know yours are greater in number. But you're no different then the rest of us." Her brow furrowed at the statement. "You can't hold all of it inside. You gotta let your friends help share the hurt for you."

"I do not wish my friends the pain I feel," she said, her eyes looking away again. "And I do not want you to know my shame..." a tear escaped her and fell to her cheek. He was quiet, waiting for her to continue. He wouldn't push it out of her. But he could see the pain in her eyes.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," he told her. She looked at him again, her eyes searching his. Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. He took another step toward her and spoke even softer, "I'm not gonna turn you away, Ziva. I'm not like him." She looked down at his chest as her eyes rapidly blinked in attempt to stop the sudden flow of stinging tears caused by his sentiment.

"Three weeks ago," she started, "I received a message from Eli," she looked back up at him, her eyes dashing back and forth between his before her gaze fell in front of her again at his chest. "He wishes for me to be dead...to throw me away like all of his unwanted mistakes." Gibbs' heart grew angry at the man that had put her through this. "It was not enough for me to leave his side and country. He does not want me to exist anywhere. And you must tell him that Akim was successful," she told him, "Or he will not stop..." Her voice became a low whisper, "I can not stand by and watch my friends die because of me..." her tears flowed freely now, but her expression was hidden.

Gibbs put his hands on either side of her face, his thumbs wiped at the tears, "We'll fix this," he said. "We'll make it go away." He kissed her forehead. "I promise..."

* * *

McGee paced the floor of the NCIS morgue. Gibbs had called him and told him a body was on its way from Bethesda, but he hadn't elaborated. So there he was, walking nervously around the cold tables, awaiting the return of Ducky and Palmer.

His mind raced along with his heart. Last he'd heard, Ziva was in stable condition. And there would be no reason for him to remain at the hospital if she were being sent to NCIS in a body bag. So he tried hard to convince himself of this fact.

Finally, Ducky and Palmer came through the doors with the body bag on a gurney. "Ducky, what happened? I've been waiting here for twenty minutes...Gibbs wouldn't say what happened-"

"Timothy, please!" Ducky interrupted the man's rant. "We have bigger problems to worry about at the moment. Tony was shot-"

"What? When? What happened? Is- is that him?" McGee's eyes were wide and his stomach churned.

"What?" Ducky turned toward him to see what he was asking. "No, Tim. Tony is in surgery."

"Who's in the body bag?"

"The man who shot him," he said as he unzipped the bag, revealing his identity.

"Akim Hadar...shot Tony?"

"Well, he was aiming for Ziva. But Tony made certain that he was unsuccessful."

"Is he gonna be alright?" Tim asked the doctor, his face painted with anxiety.

"We're still awaiting word from Jethro," he answered and walked up to McGee, placing a hand on his arm. "In the meantime, I'll need your assistance."

"With the autopsy?" he questioned with a furrowed brow.

"Don't be silly," he said. "Mr. Palmer is quite capable of that position. And an autopsy of this man is merely a formality, as I was an eye witness to his death."

"What do you need from me?"

"Gibbs called me moments before we arrived here. It is of the utmost importance that we convince Eli David that Ziva, in fact, was the one who was shot in the hospital," he explained. Tim waited for him to continue. "And that she did not survive..."

* * *

**Promised I'd get some more up before I hit the hay. Hope this holds you over till tomorrow :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I was up till 5am-ish before I went to bed. About 30 mins ago I rolled out of bed (12) to mail a letter off...but as I approached the door, the mailman was driving away. Im pretty sad right now lol. Cuz that means I have to go to the store and mail it off from there...and I dont wanna! **

**Okay well...now that I've allowed the coffee to begin running its course, I'm gonna mention my thoughts for developing some Gabby into the story...so please let me know if you like what I do with this chapter, so I know how to continue afterward. Thanks!**

* * *

_***Tony looked down at the cold table where Ziva lay...her skin pale, her lips blue...A red dot on her forehead reminded him of the last time he saw Kate...***_

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva were sitting in the waiting area for the O.R when they saw the surgeon come toward them from Tony's room. They both stood and met him halfway, noticing the blood on his apron before looking at his face for answers. A surgical mask lazily sat under his neck, still tied.

"Mr. Dinozzo is very lucky," he began, and they felt like they could breathe for the first time in the past couple hours. "The bullet hit his lowest left rib and ricocheted straight into his stomach, where we found the bullet," he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle containing the bullet. He handed it to Gibbs, "The rib that was hit is broken, but should heal within three to six weeks. The bullet lodged into the inner wall of his stomach lining. The impact through the glass, then the rib, probably slowed it down enough to stop it from going straight through the other side, which would've caused severe complications. But the hole was manageable. It's been patched up and I believe he'll make a full recovery. He'll just need to stay away from solid foods for a while to give it time to heal."

"Can we see him?" Gibbs asked.

"He'll be put in a room soon," he replied, "The anesthesia should be wearing off soon, and you're welcome to wait for him."

"Thank you," Gibbs shook the surgeon's hand. Then he turned to Ziva, "I've got Ducky working on a way to convince Eli that Akim was successful," he squinted at her as she looked up at him.

"He will need physical proof," she said.

"Which is why you need to go with McGee back to NCIS," he said and she cocked her head, "But in the M.E van. They're on the way. You'll have to go in there in a body bag, Ziva, it's the only way. They have to think you're dead, or the truth could get slipped to Eli."

"And what after that?" she questioned.

"You'll have to lay low," he said as he thought. "Can't go back to your apartment. He may have eyes there. You can stay with me for a while," he suggested. The looked away for a moment.

"The director will become suspicious. He will want evidence."

"That's why he'll be in on it. I'm gonna talk to him, Ziva. All you have to worry about is playing dead." She looked at him with uncertainty. But she trusted him with her life...and she would have to trust him now with her death...

* * *

"All set, my dear?" Ducky asked Ziva as she laid still in the body bag, his hand on the zipper as only her face was revealed. She nodded nervously. "We'll be in the morgue in within just a few minutes. You won't be shut up in this bag for long."

"If Ari could manage this, so can I," she told him. He gave her a small nod of understanding and slowly closed the zipper over her head.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

"How you doin', Dinozzo?" Gibbs said as his agent opened his eyes and focused on his boss. His bed was elevated 45 degrees so he was sitting up partly.

"Better than dead, I suppose," he said as he looked down at the bandage covering his wound.

"They've got you on morphine and anti-nausea meds," he told him.

"How bad off am I, Boss?" he asked.

"Doc says you'll make a full recovery. Had a hole in your stomach and a broken rib."

"Where's Ziva?"

"In the morgue with Ducky."

"What?" he paled and sat up, wincing slightly at the pain.

"She's fine, Tony," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder to push him back down. "We're working on a way to make Eli believe Akim was successful."

"You think he'll send more?" he asked. He nodded.

"Ziva believes he'll stop at nothing until she's taken down." Tony closed his eyes. He thought of the pain Ziva must be going through with all of what was happening. After a long moment of silence, Gibbs sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"I told her I loved her," Tony said unexpectedly. Gibbs squinted at him though his agent was looking aimlessly at the blanket that covered his legs.

"Do you?" Gibbs asked, and Tony looked at him with furrowed brow. He didn't answer. "Sometimes, when we think we're gonna die, things come out..."

"I didn't say it because I thought I was gonna die," he said and looked back down at the blanket. Gibbs brow furrowed at the statement. "I said it 'cause...I wanted her to know...in case I didn't have the chance again." Gibbs' knuckles rubbed against the stubble on his chin and jaw.

"Now you're worried because you lived?" he asked.

"I'm worried 'bout a lot of things," he said turning back to him. "Losing her friendship," he looked back down, "Her being uncomfortable around me," he let a small laugh out. "But mostly...that she might think I only said it because I thought I was good as dead." They were both silent for a moment.

"Rule number twelve didn't cross those worries?" Gibbs smirked. Tony looked at him and returned the expression.

"It's a good rule, Boss," he said. He smile slowly faded, "I didn't _plan_ to fall in love..." his eyes squinted and darted around between them. "This morphine...is making it really difficult to shut the hell up," he looked back down at the blanket.

"Secret's safe with me," Gibbs said, and Tony turned back to him and swallowed.

"Thanks, Boss," he said. Then after another long moment, "Think you can get me outta here?"

* * *

"It's a rare opportunity to make the living look dead," Ducky told Ziva as he put the finishing touches on the masterpiece he'd created.

"It's very convincing," Palmer agreed as he looked her over.

"Jimmy, if you could get the camera and take the picture," Ducky told him, "From the shoulders up, should be sufficient." They turned at the hissing sound of the doors opening. "Anthony," he was surprised to see him. Ziva sat up in the bed and looked over as he walked toward them, trying his best to hide the pain.

"You should be in the hospital," Ziva said.

"Didn't wanna miss the show," he smirked and sat up on the table beside Ziva's. He was wearing a different shirt now; one he'd undoubtedly retrieved from the bullpen. Other then his hunched over demeanor, he seemed fine.

"You should be there for observation," Ducky told him before turning back to Ziva. "Lie down, Miss David, so that we can finish up and you can wash this hideous stage makeup off." She complied without looking away from Tony.

"I'm fine," he told them. "Got morphine in my system, and antibiotics I promised to keep up with."

"See that you do," Ducky said. "A large percentage of death in non-fatal gunshot cases is complications caused by infection."

"Thanks, Duck," he said sarcastically. His gaze fell on Ziva again as she was looking at him from where she lay on the table.

"Are you ready?" Ducky asked her and she straightened her head.

"Yes," she replied and closed her eyes.

"Just relax," he told her and nodded to Palmer who held the camera.

Tony watched her as her as the muscles in her face relaxed. She held her breath as Jimmy snapped the camera.

She did look dead, then. So much so, that Tony could feel the image burning into his mind. He couldn't help but to recall the last time he'd seen Kate on that very table. His stomach churned and he swallowed to ease the feeling...

_***He wanted the pictures to be over...for her to get up off of that table where she resembled death. The blue tint of her lips caused his eyes to sting...***_

* * *

Gibbs stood in the waiting area outside Vance's office, staring down at the falsified autopsy report with Ziva's picture attached. The image was very real, and his heart ached as he looked at it. The memory of her in the bathtub came fresh into his mind...the bloody water and the incisions on her wrists...

Ducky had taken photos of those, too. But those were real...he fought the nausea that began to stir in his gut. They'd almost lost her today. Almost lost Tony as well. He took a breath and the door to Vance's office opened.

"Doin' alright there, Agent Gibbs?" Vance asked when he saw his face. Gibbs didn't answer, but headed into the office. Vance closed the door behind them and followed him toward the desk. "What's this?" he asked as Gibbs handed him the file. He opened it and squinted at the information in front of him. "Agent David...when did this happen?" he looked back up at Gibbs.

"It didn't...yet," he explained. "What we're trying to prevent. But we're gonna need your help..."

* * *

Ziva scrubbed at the make-up with yet another paper towel, over the sink in the bathroom. She'd managed to remove most of it, but the red dot was being stubborn. She turned the faucet on once more and splashed water over her face again. She heard the bathroom door open and stood to glance in the mirror to see who it was.

"This is the ladies room, Tony," she smirked. He returned the smirk as he leaned back on the wall behind her.

"Labels never kept you out of the mens room." The corner of her mouth turned up at his reflection as she took another towel to scrub at the red paint again. "Look, I..." he started, and she shifted her gaze from the make-up, to his reflection again. He was looking down. "I just wanna make sure we're okay," he said. "That I didn't make things weird between us," he looked back up at her reflection. She paused in her administrations.

"I know people say things they do not mean when they think they are going to die, Tony."

"That...that's not what I'm saying, Zee. I meant what I told you. I just..." he looked down, "I don't want you to feel awkward around me now." Her features softened as she watched his reflection as he spoke. "I don't wanna push you away from me...I don't wanna lose what we have, even if it's never anything more then what we've been," he looked back at her reflection, but she'd turned to face him.

She closed the space between them and hugged him around his neck, careful not to graze the wound on his chest. He was taken back by the gesture and his arms wrapped around her small torso. "I am...glad that you told me," she said as her chin fit into his shoulder. "I wish I were as brave..." His head settled next to hers, and his eyes closed at her words, though he wasn't completely sure what she'd meant by them.

She gently pulled away and her hands paused on his cheeks, "Thank you," she whispered, "For saving me..." And she kissed him on the cheek, lingering for just a moment, then turned to walk out.

He stood there for a moment after she'd left. His heart was heavy...slight disappointment filling his mind, causing his eyes to close. But he was relieved that she wasn't frightened off by him... He would have to settle for that small mercy...

* * *

"Abby, let me in," Gibbs said as he stood in front of the locked forensics door. She opened it immediately for him, and shut it when he was inside. He saw McGee sitting at one of the computers before he turned to Abby.

"Gibbs, what's going on? I mean- I know what we're doing, but how's Tony?" she asked, obviously concerned.

"Tony's good," he said, "He's downstairs helping out." Relief washed her and McGee's faces.

"You've gotta start calling me with this stuff, Gibbs!" she said as she swatted his shoulder. "I was going out of my mind!" she turned to walk back to the computer. Gibbs smirked as he followed behind her. "I ran the bullets...the one that shot Akim, and the one that shot Tony," she walked over to the table behind them, "I fired Akim's gun into a casting target we fixed with a sample of Ziva's blood," she held up an evidence bag, "This...is the bullet that'll be sent back with Akim's body and Ziva's falsified autopsy report. It should be enough to convince him."

As he listened to her and watched her speak, Tony's words in the hospital came back to him...

_"I wanted her to know...in case I didn't have the chance again..."_

Gibbs had always had feelings for Abigail Sciuto, but he never said anything. There was no doubt in his mind...she would never want him. So he'd always settled for kissing her cheek and forcing himself to walk away.

He remembered when she'd started thinking they'd had some ESP connection...when she'd closed her eyes in front of him, asking him to try to read her thoughts. It took everything in him not to kiss her right there...so he'd hurried out of the room before she opened her eyes.

"McGee," he heard himself say.

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Go downstairs and get Ziva and Tony. Bring them to my house. Ziva needs to hide out, and Tony needs someone to keep an eye on him," he explained. "Then come back here."

"Sure," he said and hurried out of the room, pulling the door closed to lock as he left.

Gibbs stood there then. His eyes focused on nothing but the air in front of him. It had been a very long day, and he was exhausted. The events replayed in his mind, consuming him...until he heard her speak...

"Gibbs?" she was standing in front of him with a look of concern on her face. "You okay?" His eyes focused on her, and she saw the troubled expression. She put her arms around his middle and squeezed him. His heart melted and his arms went around her; his head dropping to her shoulder as he closed his eyes. "You've had a really rough day," she said, trying to soothe his nerves.

She felt him squeeze her tighter...something he'd rarely done before. And he let out a shaky breath, causing tears to sting her eyes. Gibbs had rarely ever worn his pain openly. She felt honored that he'd trust her with it.

As she gently pulled away, her hand went up to his face, stroking his cheek, lovingly. "You should go home and get some rest," she said and met his eyes. His searched hers, dashing back and forth between her greenish-gold eyes. In that moment, he was losing his will to resist.

She felt her heart skip as he looked at her...his eyes making brief glances to her mouth and back to her eyes...searching. She felt his hand move up to cup her cheek...and her eyes fluttered closed when his head dipped down to hers...

Abby welcomed his lips with hers, inviting him in. She felt his other hand at the back of her neck as the kiss deepened; their breath becoming heavy and heated. And just as quickly as it had begun, he was pulling away...backing away from her ashamed.

"I- I can't....do this to you, Abs," he couldn't look at her.

"Gibbs..." she spoke, but he turned away and left the room, closing the door behind him. A tear slipped down her cheek as she came back to reality. She rushed into her office and opened her compact to wipe away to offensive mascara-run streak, and noticed her smeared lipstick...in a panic, she picked up her cell...

*~.~*

Gibbs ducked into the stairwell and leaned against the wall, waiting for his heart to stop pounding in his chest. He hadn't expected her to kiss him back...but he couldn't let it continue. He cared about her too much to put her through that...how it always ended up with every woman he'd been with since Shannon.

His phone sounded, alerting him of a text. He grabbed it from his pocket, gladly accepting the distraction. It was from Abby...he opened it. He squinted at the single word, "lipstick". He grabbed for his knife, opening the blade to use it as a mirror, and wiped at the smudge she'd just made him aware of.

The phone sounded again, and he opened the message. "I'm sorry". His heart sank. Why was she apologizing to _him_? He shifted where he stood, feeling like he should talk to her. But he didn't know what to say...

* * *

**Okay, so let me know...**

**and ugh...just realized I am the victim of a fraudulent crime. Awesometown!! I'll get more up later I hope.**


	7. Chapter 7

**One miserable bout of insomnia later...I think I've finally calmed down about the family member who betrayed me...moving on! I had a lot to think about via the reviews as it pertains to the Gibbs/Abby thing. I was torn about what to do...and frankly I still am. But I'm not changing the previous chapter (as I'd concluded would be the only way out of it) because every great writer has obstacles. And if I can't figure this one out, I shouldn't have the privilege of writing in the first place! ;) so I'll address the issue further down the road of this story...Thanks for all the input! Enjoy!**

* * *

"You should take the guest room, Tony," Ziva said as Tony made himself comfortable on the couch.

"I need an incline, Zee," he said as he stacked pillows against the arm of the couch and laid so that his head rested on the arm, and pillows supported his back. "You take the guest room. I owe you that much after letting me take the bed in Paris." She smirked at him.

"You do not owe me anything," she said and he looked over at her. "And I am not going to bed for a while. It is only six. You should take the bed."

"I'm comfortable," he argued. "And I'm not planning on going to sleep right now. Anyway. I asked McGee to pick me up a pizza."

"You can not have pizza, Tony," she said as her brow raised.

"I _want_ pizza, Ziva."

"Well, I already talked to McGee," she said, and the corner of her mouth curled up. He squinted at her.

"What did you tell him to get?"

"Soup!" McGee said as he walked in the door with a grocery bag in his arm. "Lots of soup. And applesauce."

"You're a traitor, Probie," Tony told him as the agent made his way to the kitchen with the bag.

"I got you some iced tea, too," he said as he unpacked the bag. "And if it makes you feel any better, I actually happened to find a pizza-flavored soup," he held up the can.

Tony made a face at him, "I'll pass, but thanks."

"You don't want any of this?" McGee made a disappointed face. Ziva glared at Tony and he pursed his lips.

"I guess I'll take the applesauce," he said finally, and Tim put his hand in the bag and pulled out small jar, then retrieved a spoon from the silverware drawer and brought them to Tony. "Thanks," he said as he took them and opened the jar.

"Thank you, McGee," Ziva said and kissed his cheek. He barely blushed.

"No problem," he said, making his way toward the door. "If you need anything, just let me know."

"Well, now that you mention it," Ziva said and he paused his steps as he turned to her. "I have nothing but this outfit Tony grabbed from my apartment to bring to the hospital for me. If there's any way you can go by there and grab a few things..."

"I've got plenty of oversized tee shirts you can borrow," Tony mischievously grinned up at her. She made a face at him.

"I would rather not...no offense."

"None taken," he said sarcastically as he turned back to his applesauce.

"I guess I could do that," Tim said. "I'll bring an empty evidence box in there and throw some stuff in that. If someone's watching me, they won't know the difference."

"Have fun sifting through the underwear drawer, Probie," Tony said. McGee blushed at his comment and tried not to let them see it.

"I'm not gonna look at anything," he defended, "I'm just gonna grab some stuff and go." Ziva laughed from her nose at his uncomfortable state and she stepped closer to him.

"You are not embarrassed to see my underclothes, are you, McGee?" she grinned at him. McGee furrowed his brow at her, trying to hide his discomfort.

"No," he said, "I'm not embarrassed...I- I'm just gonna go- get your stuff," he turned toward the door again. "I should be back pretty soon." Ziva closed the door behind him with a grin, then turned to go back to the living room.

Tony was still. His hands held the jar of applesauce and spoon lightly on his lap, and as she walked toward him, she noticed he'd fallen asleep. Quietly, she took the items from his hand and brought them into the kitchen. As she went back toward him, she picked up a throw blanket that lay draped on the armchair, and carefully laid it over his sleeping body.

"Thanks," he said, sleepily, without opening his eyes. She smiled at him and turned to go to the bathroom.

* * *

Gibbs cell rang as he sat down at his desk. He looked at the caller ID. It was Abby. He hesitated at first, to answer. "Gibbs," he said softly into the phone.

_"I've got something,"_ she told him.

"On my way," he hung up the phone and slowly stood, scratching his head as he thought. He headed toward the cafeteria to get an apologetic Caf-Pow for his forensic scientist.

*~.~*

"What took you so long?" Abby said as she heard him enter the lab. He walked over and set the large cup in front of her. "Oh...Thanks!" she picked it up and took a short sip.

"I'm sorry, Abs," he said, "About..."

"Don't worry about it," she said, pushing the subject aside. His brow furrowed for a moment. "I've been doing a little digging on this Akim Hadar guy," she continued and his attention went to the screen. "You know that pipe-bombing case that's been in the news?" she turned her face to him.

"Never found the guy," he said.

"Yeah, I know," she turned back to the screen as she typed. "I got Akim's home address from Bethesda's employee database. Then I checked with the U.S. Postal Service delivery data for anything that had been delivered to that address in the last six months. He's gotten two packages weighing in at about fifteen pounds each."

"He ordered piping through the mail?"

"The packages both came from the same place; a mom n' pop's plumbing company out of Minnesota. The first package was delivered a week before the bombing in Baltimore."

"And the second?"

"Two weeks ago," she said as she turned to him. He picked up his phone as he walked toward the door.

"Good work, Abs," he said as he left. She watched the door for a moment before looking down at her Caf-Pow. She was disappointed that he'd left without kissing her cheek like he normally did. She had hoped that the events that had happened earlier hadn't changed them. Her heart sank...

* * *

Tim walked into the bathroom after having packed several pieces of clothing into the evidence box, leaving it on the bed before thinking to grab her toothbrush for her.

His shoes sloshed in the pink water that had mostly been absorbed by towels that had been laid down. He glanced at the tub briefly before opening the medicine cabinet. And he jumped when his cell rang in his pocket. Taking a breath as he closed his eyes, frustrated that it had scared him, he reached into his pocket and answered.

"Boss, I know I'm supposed to back there by now, but Ziva asked me to--"

_"McGee, Abs found evidence that suggests Akim may have set that pipe bomb off in Baltimore," _Gibbs explained.

"The one on the news?" McGee inquired.

_"Yeah. Never found the guy. BPD said the bomb had been in the toilet tank in one of the stalls. I'm on my way to Ziva's apartment. So is the bomb-squad."_

"Boss, I'm at her apartment right now," he said as he glanced at the tank and held the phone between his ear and shoulder and went to remove the top.

_"What? Why the hell are you over there?"_

"She asked me if I could pick up a few..." his voice tapered off after he removed the top.

_"McGee?"_ Gibbs said when he heard him stop. But McGee was in full panic as he saw the wired pipe bomb duct taped to the dry portion of the tank. There was a timer connected to it, and it was counting down from five seconds...

"Boss..."

* * *

**Mwahaha! Evil I am! Leave you guessing... I'll have more up soon, I promise. So don't have a fit ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay! This is the chapter that turns this into an M rated fic! So here's the warning! Sexual situation nearing the end of the chapter!**

* * *

* * *

_ "Boss..."_ Gibbs heard McGee say on the other line. Then he heard a loud noise before the line went dead.

"McGee!" he yelled, looking up in front of him as he approached the area. Up ahead, there was black smoke billowing from somewhere behind the surrounding houses. He dropped the phone and stepped down on the gas pedal, hurrying around the corner. As he came up upon the apartment building, he slammed on the breaks and threw the car into park.

He ran out of the car, not bothering to shut his door as he approached the flaming pile of debris that half the building had been reduced to. Fire trucks and bomb squad vehicles screeched around the corner toward the building as he frantically scanned the area. "Tim!" he called. "McGee, can you hear me?" he pulled at the debris, avoiding the flames as best he could.

Then he felt himself being pulled away and looked over at the firemen who had taken his arm. "I've got an agent in there!" he yelled at him.

"Sir, we have to get this fire out! If he's in there, we'll find him!" But he knew their efforts would be in vain as he backed away from the debris. Tim had been right there...he had seen the bomb, and it had been too late...

His hand went to his mouth, then to his forehead as the situation impacted his gut. He'd lost his agent...his friend... "I'm sorry, McGee," his voice cracked as the tears forced their way from his clamped eyes...

* * *

The television played softly as Ziva and Tony watched. Tony was eating a bowl of chicken soup that Ziva had heated up for him.

"One thing about these crime drama shows," Tony said with a mouth full of noodles, "They never show the ridiculous amount of paperwork we have to do."

"Who would want to watch that?" Ziva commented as she took a bit of her sandwich.

"Good point," he responded, looking over at her with envy. "How can you eat that in front of me?" he swallowed his noodles. Her mouth curled up on one side.

"I am hungry," she replied. And they both turned as they heard the front door open and saw Gibbs come quickly into the house.

"Hey, Boss," Tony greeted, but Gibbs didn't stop to talk. He hurried to the stairs down to the basement. "What's up with him?" he looked at Ziva.

"Rough day," she guessed, and their attention turned back to the television when they heard the sudden change in volume.

_"We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news,"_ the reporter said.

"Oh come on, we were right in the middle of the show!" Tony argued. Ziva shushed him as she looked at the screen. He made a face at her until he saw the look on her face.

_"I'm coming to you live from what authorities believe is a repeat bomb attack as we saw last month in Baltimore."_

"That is my apartment building," she said, horrified, as they zoomed on the debris. Tony sat up and set his bowl down on the coffee table.

_"The suspect, Akim Hadar, was killed earlier today after shooting an NCIS agent who resided in this very building. The apartment's residents were in a meeting with the neighborhood crime watch when the bomb went off, so there were no resident casualties. But sources informed me that there was __one man in the building. Firemen are still searching for the NCIS agent that was in the apartment with the bomb only moments before it went off..." _

Ziva could no longer hear what the woman on the screen was saying. She stood, her eyes glassy with fear, and Tony stood when he saw her. "McGee..." she said in barely a whisper. Tony went to her side. "McGee was in there because of me," she turned to look at him. Tony swallowed, feeling the pain of loss for his friend, and the pain he saw in Ziva's eyes.

"Zee, you couldn't have known..."

"He is not dead," she said with certainty as she looked into his eyes. He glanced back at the screen and the pile of debris it showed. Then he looked down at the floor before meeting her eyes again.

"Ziva-" he started, but they turned as they heard Gibbs walk into their view. He was now dressed in desert-camo, and his sniper rifle was on his back. He stopped to look at the news cast on the screen.

"What are you doing?" Ziva asked as she saw the pain in his eyes.

"I'm going to kill Eli," he said flatly and started toward the front door.

"Boss-"

"Gibbs!" Ziva shouted and went after him. He stopped and turned to her. "I want him dead just as much as you do," she said as a tear streaked down her cheek. "But it is a suicide mission. I do not want you coming back to us in a body bag," her face crumbled into sadness as the tears flowed more freely. Her gaze fixed on his chest.

He was torn by her words. He didn't want her to hurt anymore. "If I don't kill him, he won't stop," he told her.

"That bomb was there before you killed Akim!" she shouted. "Eli will have no doubt that I am dead when he gets that report!"

"What am I supposed to do?!" he yelled. "How can I sit around and watch each of my agents die at his hand?"

"Please," she cried, "Please don't go," she hugged around his middle. His eyes darted painfully around the air as her words struck him...made him remember...

_"Please don't go, Daddy," Kelly pleaded, "Please! Please don't go..."_

His arms went around her, his hand on the back of her head, as his head rested on her shoulder. "Okay..." his voice cracked as he stroked her hair, "Okay...I won't go..." his own tears fell before he turned to kiss her head. An answer he'd wished he had told Kelly...

Tony's cell rang and he picked it up, "Yeah, Duck?" he said in a low voice.

_"Anthony, I've been trying to call Agent Gibbs, but he's not answering. I saw on the news...about Ziva's apartment...tell me he wasn't there."_

"It was McGee," he answered, his emotion catching up to him, cracking his voice.

_"Oh dear..." _ he replied in utter dismay. _"Are you there now?"_

"Will be soon," he said as he headed out the door and hung up.

"Where you goin', Dinozzo?" Gibbs asked as he gently pulled away from Ziva.

"To find McGee," he said without looking back.

"You'll need a ride," he replied. Tony stopped and turned around. Gibbs turned to Ziva and took off his sniper rifle, handing it to her. "Put this away for me," he told her. "And stay here."

* * *

_He coughed as he opened his eyes. It was dark and his body ached. It took him a few moments to remember what had happened... When he coughed again, he realized he couldn't hear it. He started to shout for help, but to him, his voice seemed distant and muffled. _

_ He reached out, cringing at the pain in his arms and chest. His hands felt porcelain...the bathtub. Now he remembered...he had recalled a moment in a movie. The bomb was in the toilet and the man had jumped into the bathtub and survived the explosion. So that's the only thing he could think of in that moment after he saw the timer count down._

_ He'd dove into the tub and felt it ripped out from the blast, turning over almost immediately at the force. He skin stung from the flames that had briefly grazed over him. Then he'd felt himself __falling...the feeling resembling the fast drop of an elevator ...then everything went black..._

_ But he began to panic when he heard nothing... no one knew he was there. And the porcelain began to get very warm beneath his fingers, which could mean only one thing... fire..._

* * *

The firemen put out the last of the flames as Tony approached the debris with Gibbs. Being there in person was overwhelming...much different then seeing it on the television. It hadn't seemed real until now.

"Ziva's apartment was on the second floor," he thought out loud as he scanned the damage. "One level over it. If he was still inside when it went off, he should be somewhere over here," he said as he made his way through the broken pieces of building and furniture.

"Dinozzo," Gibbs called after him as he followed. Tony didn't respond to his attempt to stop him from looking. "He was standing over the bomb when it went off." Tony stopped but didn't turn around. His eyes squinted as they darted around in the air in front of him. "I was on the phone with him when it happened..."

Tony stood still for another moment before resuming his trek. "I'm gonna find him, Boss."

"There may not be anything left to find," Gibbs said, his voice thick with regret. Tony stopped again and turned to look at Gibbs.

"I'm not leaving him in this..." Tony said as his eyes stung. Gibbs registered his agent's words, then nodded. But as Tony turned, he stopped suddenly.

"What is it?" Gibbs asked. Tony shot his hand up toward him.

"You hear that?" he asked him. Faintly, they heard a thump. Then another one...and another. Gibbs made his way toward where Tony was following the sound. "It's coming from here somewhere," he said as he knelt down pulling away broken, burnt pieces of wood and brick.

Gibbs helped him, frantically pulling up the heavy pieces until they came to a blackened, over-turned bathtub. They stopped; waiting for the noise to continue...and they heard it again. "McGee?" Tony shouted. There was no answer. He looked up at his boss. "Gotta turn this over," he said as he wedged his hands under the porcelain. Gibbs crouched next to him and did the same. "On three?" he said. He counted down, and together they began to lift the tub.

As they pushed with their bodies and got it onto its side, they looked down. "McGee!" Tony said as he knelt down, "Holy shit, man, we thought you were dead!" a relieved smile washed his face.

"What?" he shouted. "I can't- can't hear you!" Gibbs shouted for the EMTs that were ready at their vehicle, then crouched back down, relieved to see McGee in one piece.

"Bomb must've messed up your ears a bit," Gibbs shouted to him and held his hand out to help him up.

"The bomb must've messed with my ears!" he shouted. Gibbs smirked as McGee took his hand and tried to sit up.

"That's what he just said, Probie!" Tony shouted.

"Sorry!" he shouted and grunted at the movement.

"You don't have to yell, McGee, we can hear you!" Gibbs shouted.

"Sorry, Boss!" he continued to yell, "I can't hear myself if I don't yell!" Gibbs laughed at the agent as Tony helped his stand. Tony looked him over, noticing the singed clothing and browned areas on his face and hands.

"Poor Probie," he said to Gibbs, "He's like a...a human piece of toast."

"I heard that!" McGee said turning to him.

"No, ya didn't!" Tony said as he helped him over to the EMTs.

Gibbs looked on at his agents as they walked to the ambulance, and he silently thanked the heavens that Tim survived this. Then his thoughts drifted to Ziva. He pulled his cell out and dialed his house number as he made his way through the debris. She answered on the second ring when she saw it was him. "We found McGee, Ziva. He's alive..."

*~.~*

"I don't need to go to the hospital," Tim said as he sat on the edge of the ambulance. His hearing seemed to be a little better now. "I feel fine. It's just some minor burns."

"You're bleeding from your ears, McMurtaugh!" Tony argued. McGee squinted at him in question. "Oh, I know you watched Lethal Weapon 2 on TV last week! Who says you never learn anything from watching television?" he smirked.

"Wonder if I can write Richard Donner and thank him for the idea," he responded. Tony saw Gibbs walk up next to them.

"Probie's tryin' to get out of going to the hospital, Boss," Tony told him. Gibbs looked at the drying trickle of blood that lead from his ear to the lobe.

"Boss, I'm fine. Ruptured eardrums heal on their own. I don't need to go to the hospital. Tony just got shot this morning and he checked himself out already."

"He's got ya there," Gibbs said to Dinozzo.

"I got shot in the stomach. How do you know it's not his brain oozing out of his ears?" Tony said sarcastically, and Tim stood up to defend himself.

"My brain is not oozing outta--" he was suddenly hit with a wave of dizziness and they saw him blink his eyes before they rolled back in his head and fell unconscious to the ground.

"Oh god...Probie, I was kidding!" Tony said as he knelt down to aide his friend.

"Damnit, Dinozzo," Gibbs smacked him in the back of the head.

"Boss, I didn't mean it..."

"I know," he said as the EMTs came to help. McGee opened his eyes as he groaned.

"What the hell happened?" he asked as he started to sit up. The EMT put a blood pressure cuff on his arm.

"Ya passed out, Probie," Tony said. "I was just messing with you, McGee...I didn't really think your brain was oozing out."

"Just low blood pressure," the EMT told him as they removed the cuff. "Probably a result of smoke inhalation. You need to be put on oxygen," he said as he helped him back to the ambulance to sit, and pulled an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

"Any way we could get one of those things to go?" Tony asked the EMT. The technician gave him an amused, questioning look.

"You could... get one from the hospital," he told him.

"Thought you _wanted_ me to go to the hospital," McGee said to Tony.

"Yeah...well now I kinda feel bad," he said and glanced at Gibbs. "You wouldn't mind another house guest, Boss, would ya? Just for the night?" Gibbs smirked at the both of them.

"I should start charging rent."

* * *

"Think you can swing me home before you go get McGee, Boss?" Tony said as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Kinda overdue for my pain killers, and that tub was kinda heavy."

"It's on the way," he replied, a bit worried about him. "Sure you didn't pop a stitch?"

"Think I'd be bleeding if that happened, don't you?" Tony looked out the window at the dark sky. Gibbs glanced at him briefly, and noted his uncomfortable posture as they pulled up to the house.

"Need help getting inside?"

"No, I got it," Tony said as he opened the door. "Thanks, Boss."

* * *

"Where's Tony? Thought he was with you?" McGee asked as he got into the car.

"Wasn't feeling well. Dropped him off before coming to get you."

"Oh..." he pulled his seat belt on as Gibbs pulled away from the hospital. "Boss, are you sure it's okay I stay at your place? 'Cause I can just go home..."

"You're coming to my place because you're not stayin' at the hospital," he glanced at him, "And because Ziva wants to see you're okay." Tim glanced at his boss for a moment.

"She's blaming herself for what happened," he concluded. Gibbs nodded, keeping his eye on the road. "I swear, if I ever had the chance to kill Eli..." he didn't have to finish. He looked down at his feet."I just think Ziva deserves better," he said then held the oxygen mask to his face. Gibbs glanced once more at the agent.

"My thoughts, exactly, McGee..."

* * *

"I think you should go back to the hospital, Tony," Ziva said as she wiped his forehead with a cool washcloth.

"No, really, this is much better," he replied. He had been in an immense amount of pain on the couch and decided to attempt to lie on his back on the floor.

"You were running a fever and immobilized with pain."

"And now I'm not," he smiled at her, trying to ease her fears. "Look, I promise you, I'm okay. Really, please stop worrying," he stilled her arm, pulling it gently from its administrations. The cloth grazed his cheek and he took it from her, dropping it to the floor, then took her hand in his, careful not to hurt the covered wounds at her wrist.

She looked into his eyes as her face relaxed away from the concern that had covered it just moments ago. "Tony, I need to tell you something," she said, her eyes darting back and forth between his. He searched her face and gave her a questioning look.

Then they heard the front door open and she quickly reached for the washcloth and plopped it into the bowl of water that sat on the coffee table.

"Is everything okay?" McGee said as he hurried over to them when he saw Tony on the floor.

"Yeah, Probie," Tony grinned, glancing up at him for a moment, then back at Ziva. "Just couldn't get comfortable on the couch."

"He was in pain before you got here," she said as she stood to bring the bowl back into the kitchen.

"I'm fine. Just needed a pain killer." Gibbs walked into his view.

"You gonna sleep there, Dinozzo?" he asked with a smirk.

"Why not? It's kinda like camping. Got a nice view of the stars," he said as he looked out the window over the couch.

"It's been a long day," Gibbs said, "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Me too," Tim said. "Uh...where do I sleep, Boss?"

"Take the guest room," Ziva offered.

"Where are _you_ gonna sleep?" McGee questioned.

"I can sleep on the couch, since Tony will not be using it."

"I don't wanna make you sleep on the couch, Ziva," he replied.

"McGee, you were nearly killed today," she argued.

"So were you!" he retorted. She squinted at him.

"You were bleeding from your ears," Tony chimed in.

"You were shot! You should take the bed," Tim said.

"Hey!" Gibbs yelled and they all shut up and looked at him. "Dinozzo said he's sleepin' on the floor. McGee, take the guest room. Ziva..." his eyes darted around the air in thought, "If you want, I can take the couch, and you can have my room."

"I refuse to let you give up your bed, Gibbs. You have already given up the rest of your house." He cocked his head and smirked.

"You wanna stay up all night listening to movie trivia, be my guest. I'm goin' to bed."

"Boss-" McGee started to protest.

"Don't...argue, McGee," he said as he gave him a glare. Then he turned to go upstairs. McGee sighed.

"G'night, guys," he told them and headed to the guest room. When he heard both doors close, Tony got a devilish grin and looked over at Ziva who was laying a blanket down on the couch.

"You went through an awful lot of trouble to make sure you could sleep in the same room as me," he said quietly.

"Do not flatter yourself, Tony," she said as the corner of her mouth turned up at his humor. She reached over to the end table and switched off the light. Then she sat still and her grin faded.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he saw her face.

"I have nothing...to wear to bed."

"I have another tee shirt in my bag," he offered.

"Thanks," she said, but stayed where she was, her eyes staring into the space in front of her. Tony sat up and turned to face her.

"I'm sorry about your apartment," he said.

"Not the first time it has happened," she gave a small smile. He reached under the coffee table to his bag, pulling out a navy tee shirt and handed it over to her. The corner of her mouth turned up as she took it from him. He turned away to give her privacy as she changed into it.

"Okay," she said when she was finished. He turned around as she laid down and pulled the covers up to her chest. "Good night, Tony." He laid back down on the floor on his back.

"What did you wanna tell me before?" he asked quietly, "Before Gibbs and McGee came in..." Her eyes opened at the question.

"Nothing important," she lied.

"Oh...okay," he said as he looked up at the ceiling. "G'night, Zee," he closed his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep. He heard her shift around on the couch, but kept his eyes closed.

"I am sorry," she said in barely a whisper. He opened his eyes then and looked at her. She was turned on her side facing him, looking down at him.

"What?"

"That was a lie. It _is_ important." He studied her face for a moment.

"I'm listening," he told her. He was surprised to see her move off of the couch and down to the floor next to him, the blanket falling with her. "Zee?" he questioned her, but her arm went over the front of his chest and to the floor at his side and her mouth was on his.

The sudden contact forced his eyes closed. Her lips parted with his; the kiss deepening and his breath coming out as a sigh against her mouth. His hands came up and tangled in her hair and he felt her move her body over his. She settled her body down onto his and he moved his hands down her back, pulling her tighter to him as their kisses grew even more heated.

Her hand pushed on the floor, keeping her chest from pressing against his bandaged wound. And her other hand snaked down his side. She lifted her hips to allow her hand to go between them.

When he felt her hand sneak under the front of his sweatpants and grasp him, he pulled his head back and a guttural groan escaped his throat.

"Sshhh," she warned him; her nose grazing his. He opened his eyes and looked at her; her dark brown eyes shone in the moonlight coming from the window. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but to touch his fingers to the soft skin of her cheek.

He flipped her over so he was on top of her; his legs resting between hers as his mouth went to hers again. Her hands came up under the back of his shirt, then down, causing him to thrust his hips against her. The motion earned him a soft groan from her, and he mimicked her shushing. They smiled at each other, then his mouth went to her neck and he held himself steady with his elbow as his other hand snaked down between them. Shifting his hips off of hers, his hand sought where he'd assumed her panties would be. He was shocked to find no article of clothing at all as his fingers slipped into her slick folds.

"Oh my...god," he said through gritted teeth at her ear; the intensity of his arousal tripled at the discovery, and his hips thrust against her again, pushing his fingers deeper.

"Tony," she breathed in a whisper, "Please..." she reached down, pushing his sweatpants down a bit and pulling him from them. His mouth went back to hers as she grasped him, guiding him to her entrance. He couldn't help but to thrust all the way in; both of them trying desperately not to cry out at the sensation.

He picked up his head and looked at her face again. She was biting on her lower lip, gazing lustfully up at him. He watched her as he pulled part-way out and thrust again, causing her eyes to close. And again... He could feel her walls begin to pulse around him, and he was amazed that she was so close already. Her eyes shot open at him as her mouth opened; her breaths threatening to become screams as he continued the steady rhythm.

His hand went up to cover her mouth as she came; and he watched her fall over the edge for as long as he could before he had to duck his head into the crook of her neck to mute his own release...

His hand slipped from over her mouth as he felt her hands in his hair. Their labored breathing was the only sound in the room now as they returned from the climax. His head came up again to look at her. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?" he barely whispered as he smirked. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"No," her eyes closed as he pulled out of her and laid down on his side beside her.

"Then what?" his hand brushed her hair behind her ear as she turned to face him.

"I wanted to tell you...what I should have told you, at the hospital...and in the ladies room when you came to talk to me. That... I love you, too."

Suddenly there was a frantic knocking at the front door, and both of them grew wide-eyed in panic. "Oh crap," Tony said as he knew someone would come downstairs to open it. He scrambled from the floor.

"I will be in the bathroom," she whispered, grabbing her clothes and tearing toward the bathroom. Tony wrapped the blanket around himself and went to the door, looking out the window to see Abby as she continued to pound. He threw open the door.

"Oh my god, Tony, what the hell is going on?" she yelled as she stormed into the house. Tony was confused as he shut the door and turned on the light in the hall. "I saw on the news what happened at Ziva's apartment, and no one knew anything at NCIS! I've been trying to call all of you all night! No one answered! Then I got a hold of Ducky and he told me it was Timmy!" she cried, streaking already marked evidence of mascara-ridden tears. "What happened, Tony? Is he dead? Did they find him?"

"Abby?" McGee was half way down the stairs and heading toward her.

"McGee!" she ran and met him at the bottom, throwing her arms around him, squeezing him. "Oh my god, I thought you were dead...Tim, I was so scared," she cried in his shoulder and he held her.

"It's okay, Abs," he said, "It's okay..." Gibbs came down the stairs when he heard her cries.

"Gibbs, what the hell!" she yelled as she pulled away from Tim. "I was calling your cell and you never picked up. You always pick up..."

"Battery died, Abs. I'm sorry...I shoulda called you." Ziva came out of the bathroom, dressed. Abby looked over at her.

"You guys are having a slumber party and you didn't invite me?" she wiped away her tears and looked at them all as they were speechless, unable to respond to the question. She smiled then, "I'm just kidding," she said. Their faces relaxed. "But seriously...you're gonna have to let me crash here after what you put me through," she said to Tim.

"Well it's not up to me," Tim said. They all turned to Gibbs. He threw his hands up and furrowed his brow.

"I don't care who stays where! I just wanna go back to bed. And don't ask me where you're gonna sleep..." he turned around and went back up to his room and shut the door.

"I'm not even gonna begin to ask what that was about," Abby said to all of them and then grabbed onto McGee's arm. "Where are you sleeping?" she asked him. McGee furrowed his brow at her, then glanced over at Tony and Ziva who both had devious grins on their faces...

* * *

**lmao okay. I gotta stop for the night/morning. Gotta work in like...7 hours. I'll have more up tomorrow! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Just a small warning—steamy scene hidden somewhere in the depths of this chapter ;)**

* * *

* * *

_ ***Blood dripped from Tony's shirt onto Gibbs as he vigorously performed chest compressions on the lifeless body under him...***_

* * *

"Tony's never gonna let this go," Tim said as Abby towel-dried her hair after having taken a shower. She was tied up in a bathrobe that was obviously too big. "Him and Ziva are gonna have a field day all week..."

"Oh, lighten up, Timmy," she said as she threw the damp towel at him, which he caught, and squinted at her for it. "They won't say anything."

"How can you say that? You _know_ them."

"There's nothing for them to say. We're just sharing a room. Big deal!" she said in a quiet voice, so as to not disturb Gibbs.

"Yeah, but they'll _make_ it into something," he said grumpily.

"No, they won't," she said as the corner of her mouth turned up. He gave her a look of question and she came closer to him to whisper. "'Cause we have leverage," she smiled.

"What do you mean?" he squinted.

"Didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?"

"You know...that flushed look...like they'd been _doing_ something right before I came in," she cocked her head with her grin. It took McGee a moment to catch on to her insinuation. His eyes grew wide.

"No way..."

"Yes way, McGee," she stood and started walking toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I have nothing to sleep in. I'm gonna ask Gibbs if he's got an extra shirt I can borrow," she opened the door.

"He's probably sleeping by now, Abby."

"Can't you hear him on the phone?" she squinted and closed the door behind her. Tim strained to hear Gibbs, but couldn't.

"Damn explosion..."

*~.~*

"Hey, Duck," Gibbs said into his home phone, "I don't know how my home phone's ringer got put on silent, but it did. And my cell battery is dead. I meant to call you back."

_"Abigail was extremely worried," _he told him, _"And I can't blame her. With what happened..."_

"I meant to call you, because we found Tim. And he's alive and doing well."

_"Oh my, that is such good news! You should call Abby and let her know."_

"She knows. She's here."

_"Good, good..." _Gibbs looked over at the door as he heard it crack open and saw Abby poke her head in.

"Uh, Duck, I'm gonna let you go. I'll see you tomorrow," he hung up the phone and looked at Abby who came in the room and closed the door. "Need something, Abs?"

"Yeah, actually. Got a shirt I can wear to bed?"

"Left middle drawer," he motioned toward the dresser.

"Thanks," she smiled and bent down to open it. "Sorry for yelling at you."

"Don't worry about it. I deserved it." She turned up the corner of her mouth at him, then paused for a moment before continuing.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you...about...ya know," she pulled out a shirt and a pair of shorts, and when she began to untie the robe, Gibbs turned away to give her privacy. Slightly uncomfortable, he cleared his throat. "I really don't want things to be weird between us," she continued, and he only turned his head back when he felt the bed dip. She was dressed and sitting down at the foot of the bed to talk to him. And she crossed her legs indian-style.

"Me either," he said.

"I want you to know that I _do_ love you, and I wouldn't ever do anything to change what we have. We're like...like blood, Gibbs," she told him, looking at his eyes without wavering. "Now don't get me wrong; I _did_ enjoy the kiss. It was really nice...you're a great kisser," she said, and saw him blush as he smirked and looked away momentarily. "But the way I feel about you...is so much more than that..."

Gibbs swallowed, then nodded when he understood. "I don't wanna cheapen it or change anything about us. I love us just the way we are," her eyes became a little glassy. He felt relieved. These were the thoughts he had been having since that moment shared in the lab. She _was_ blood...she was family. And he didn't want that to change either.

"So do I, Abby," he said, to her relief, and she pushed herself up on her knees and crawled over next to him, giving him a hug and resting her head under his chin. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"I'm so glad," she said, smiling. She laid there with him for a moment and felt him take a deep cleansing breath, causing her to do the same. Then she gently pulled away. "G'night, Gibbs," she grinned and stroked his hair for just a moment. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, thoroughly relieved when she didn't flinch.

"G'night, Abs." She stood from the bed and made her way to the door. "Abby," he called and she turned to him as she opened the door. "Thanks for talking to me." She smiled and closed the door behind her, leaving him alone.

He smiled to himself. A great weight had lifted from his chest. Things were going to be the way they _should_ be. With Abby, anyway. And his smile faded as thoughts of Eli rushed back into his mind. He reached over to turn off the light and settled down into his pillow, trying to will the thoughts away so he could get some sleep. But they wouldn't go away...

*~.~*

Abby quietly entered the guest room and shut the door. McGee was laying on his side facing away from her, and she heard the sound of the oxygen mask. She crept over and climbed into the bed, looking over him to see he was still awake.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was just feeling a little light-headed a minute ago," he said pulling the mask from his face and reaching down to turn off the canister. "I'm okay now." He turned to lie on his back and looked over at her as she snuggled down into the covers and laid her head on the pillow, facing him on her side. "You sure you're comfortable sharing a bed with me? 'Cause I can sleep on the floor..."

"Don't be such a prude, McGee," she grinned. Then she burrowed a little deeper into the covers, "It's cold in here," she said, and scooted a little closer to Tim.

"Abby," he warned.

"What?"

"You know how I feel about you...don't tease me with snuggling. I'll go out of my mind."

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad," she curled the corner of her mouth up at him. He furrowed his brow at her.

"Yes, it would. I don't wanna be reminded once again that you don't want me."

"Tim...I love you."

"Yeah, I know...like you love puppies. That's really great."

"No..." she pulled his face gently to face her. "Look...I tried to be with other guys. Something kept popping up in my mind, though." Tim shifted onto his side to face her as she talked. "I know we're into different stuff...and that's okay. 'Cause we're into a _lot_ of the same things too. But mostly...I've come to realize that I..." she paused. His brow furrowed again.

"Because you thought I was dead, you think suddenly you like me..." he propped his head up on his hand with his elbow on the pillow.

"No. It's not suddenly, Timmy," she said, propping her own head up. He didn't believe her, so he looked down at the mattress between them. "The thing that keeps popping up in my mind, is you..." He looked back at her again. "I just didn't want to admit it yet...thought there would be plenty of time for us to...ya know...get back to that point. But yeah,when I thought you were dead...it made me think. It made me..." her eyes became glassy with fresh tears, and it made his heart sink. "I thought I'd made a horrible mistake...and that I'd never get the chance to tell you how I feel."

He felt for her hand that laid on the mattress in between them, and held onto it to comfort her. And she quickly pulled it away and put it on his face as she kissed him. He was stunned...but only for a moment. She pulled her body up against his, wrapping her leg around his waist, and he melted.

His arm went around her back and pulled her even closer as the kiss deepened. Suddenly he was the bravest man in the world; he pushed her onto her back and rolled on top of her, crushing his mouth down onto hers. She moaned as a gush of wet heat pooled between her legs. This is what she'd always wanted from him; for him to take control. Something he was always afraid to do with her.

"He'll hear us," she whispered when his mouth went to her neck.

"I don't care," he whispered in her ear, and her eyes fluttered closed and she bit down on her lip to stifle a moan. She felt his erection on her thigh through his thermal pajama pants.

"Is that a gun in your pocket?" she whispered with a grin. And he positioned himself over her and pressed himself against her roughly. "Oh god," she moaned and he covered her mouth with his again. She lifted her hips up off the mattress and pulled her underwear down, kicking them the rest of the way off, then she reached down the front of his pants and stroked him. His head went to her shoulder as he closed his eyes and tried to remain in control.

Feeling her hands on him made him drunk with pleasure. "I can't wait anymore," he whispered through gritted teeth in her ear, and he reached down to her folds and rubbed her, relishing in the surprising fact that he'd made her this wet. Then he pushed himself up on his knees and jerked his pants down far enough for him to spring free, and looked down at her...she was flushed and spreading her legs wider for him. Her tee shirt was riding up, revealing the creamy skin of her torso, driving him wild.

He looked at her eyes, wanting to ask her if she was sure, but knowing the question would take away from the dominant role she wanted him to play. He bent down, allowing himself to press kisses on her belly and travel up to her ear, before he plunged into her.

She was thankful the bed wasn't creaky as he pounded into her. That was the only other thought in her mind besides the perfect pressure he was putting in all the right places. Her hands went up under the back of his shirt, and her nails dug into the flesh of his back as she began to feel the welcome spasms begin. Her mouth went to his shoulder, biting down as she went over the edge, trying to muffle her own cries of ecstasy.

The painful sensation of her teeth on his skin only seemed to increase the pleasure caused by the squeezing spasms around him. And before he could predict it would happen, he came suddenly and violently, forcing his face into the pillow beneath her so he wouldn't be heard...

Her teeth released his shoulder and he collapsed on top of her as they both gasped for air. "That was...so...hot, Timmy," she breathed in barely a whisper. He twitched inside her and involuntarily thrust his hips again.

"I'm crushing you," he said and started to move, but she held him.

"No, stay. I like it," she grinned, and he pulled his head up to look at her. Her eyes were darker and her face was pink with exhaustion.

"I love you," he said as he kissed her again. She smiled bigger.

"You better, McHottie," she giggled. He blushed as he grinned at her...

* * *

_When he finally drifted into sleep, he dreamed of Jenny... of Paris...and then of his last days with her. _

_ "Are you sick?" he'd asked her._

_ "My health is fine," she'd told him._

_ Then the blood on the floor in the old saloon...the battlefield where she'd lost her life. She did it for him...and it had broken his heart._

_ He cried in his slumber...the memory too painful to bear; he hadn't cried before then. He wanted to when he'd found the note she would have written..._

_ "Dear Jethro" written at the top of the page. Then nothing else... he longed to know what she'd wanted to tell him. _

_ He cried..._

_ The nightmares continued...flashes of painful moments. Shannon and Kelly...Kate..._

_ Ziva's body submerged in bloody water..._

_ Tony struggling...bloody on the floor of the hospital..._

_ The burning debris under which Tim had been trapped..._

_ Eli...this monster that caused his Ziver so much pain and heartache...her tears..._

* * *

Ziva woke up to the sound of someone in the kitchen. Her eyes opened and she saw McGee...cooking at the stove. She reached down from the couch to shake Tony awake.

"What?" his eyes shot open. She motioned with her eyes toward the kitchen. Tony sat up and cocked his head.

"What are you doing, Probie?" he asked. Tim glanced back at them.

"Making breakfast," he said and turned back to the stove. Tony grabbed his pill bottles and fished out an antibiotic and a pain killer, popping them into his mouth and taking them with a sip of water from the bottle that sat on the coffee table. "Hungry?"

"You seem awful chipper this morning," he pushed himself to stand, stretching his back and rotating his head. Ziva stood from the couch and stood next to him, the corner of her mouth turning up into a devilish grin. Tony saw it and mimicked it, turning back to McGee as they both headed into the kitchen. "Have a good night?" he asked. McGee glanced at them, noting the grins, then went back to work on the pancakes.

"Good as you two, I suppose," he grinned. Tony squinted as his smile faded and he glanced at Ziva.

"What's _that _supposed to mean, McJammiepants?"

"Abby had ya figured out when she came over," he said. Tony's eyes looked to one side in thought. Then he dismissed it and grinned again.

"So you two..."

"I don't kiss and tell...like some people," he retorted.

"But you just did," Tony laughed.

"Hey, you should probably shut up before Gibbs ends up walking up behind you...if he didn't already hear it." Tony's eyes went wide.

"Zee," he whispered. "He's behind me...isn't he..."

"No," she said, but playfully smacked the back of his head.

"Hey!" he squinted at her. Then he looked around. "Speaking of Gibbs, isn't he usually up by now?"

"His door was closed when I came down," McGee said.

"Morning, guys!" Abby said as she walked into the kitchen. "Oo, pancakes!" she said, sniffing the air.

"Gibbs up yet?" Tony asked her, noticing she was dressed and ready for work.

"I didn't hear him," she said, "But he's probably getting dressed by now. We have to be at work in an hour."

"Breakfast is ready," Ziva said when she saw Tim pile the plate, "You should go wake him up, Tony," she smirked at him.

"Why don't _you_ go wake him up?"

"Are you afraid?" she dared him, squinting.

"No, I'm not _afraid_," he mocked. "Fine," he went over to the staircase and Ziva followed him. "What are you doing?" he questioned as he started up the stairs.

"Oh, if you think I am going to miss this, you are sadly mistaken," she grinned up at him from the bottom of the staircase. He made a face at her as he reached the top.

"Boss?" he knocked on the bedroom door. "Boss, you awake?" When there was no answer, he turned the knob and cracked open the door. What he saw, caused bile to rise in his throat. "Call 911!" he yelled as he ran into the room.

Ziva's face washed with concern and she ran up the stairs. When she reached Gibbs' bedroom, she felt dread course through her entire body...Gibbs was on the floor, Tony hovered over him giving him chest compressions.

"No pulse...Call 911, Ziva!" he told her again. She ran to the phone at his night stand, her hands shook as she dialed.

Tony continued compressions; his eyes stung at the blue color on his boss's lips. He counted in his head, being sure to keep the steady rhythm he'd been taught in his recently updated CPR course. Breathing for the patient was proven to be unnecessary. Compressions...keeping the heart pumping blood to the brain and the rest of the body was the most crucial thing.

He saw McGee and Abby rush into the room from the corner of his eye, but he didn't take his attention away from his administrations. If they were saying something, he didn't hear it. His mind was preoccupied with wondering what had happened to Gibbs.

McGee was suddenly in front of him; kneeling beside Gibbs' body, scanning him with his eyes. He looked at Tony for answers, but he had none to give. Tony looked up at Abby who was leaning back against the dresser. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was crying.

He looked over at Ziva who was now sitting on the bed facing them. The phone was clutched in her hands in her lap. Her body was hunched over; her eyes red as she stared at Gibbs body on the floor. Her eyes looked up at Tony when she realized he was looking at her. When she blinked, tears dropped to the floor. Her eyes went to his chest. "Tony..." she said.

"Tony, you're bleeding," McGee said. Tony looked down at himself and saw the blood coming through his shirt.

"I can't stop," he said when he looked back at McGee.

"Let me..."

"No, I can't stop, McGee," he told him, and looked down at Gibbs' face. "If I stop, he could die..."

_***He watched as blood dripped from his shirt onto his boss under him...his arms and shoulders screamed at him, but he refused to stop...***_

* * *

**I'm sure at this point you are wondering if I am simply pure evil...but I assure you, I am not. I will put more up by the end of the night!**


	10. Chapter 10

Tony was in with a doctor, getting his popped stitch repaired. Abby, Tim and Ziva were in the waiting room of the O.R, where Tony would join them after he was done. Abby had called Ducky as they were on their way to the hospital. He told her he would tell the director what was going on, and be there as soon as possible.

"I have to use the bathroom," Abby said as she stood and walked past Ziva who was pacing the hall. McGee watched Ziva as she nervously walked. She scratched at her bandages on her wrists absentmindedly. Her eyes were fixed on the floor.

"Ziva, you should sit down," he said, as she was making him twice as anxious. She shook her head as she briefly glanced at him.

"I can not," she said. She was feeling winded. Her heart was pounding in her chest. In fact, it was beginning to hurt. Tim stood and went to her, taking her shoulder to stop her. She backed up against the wall. She began to panic... "I can not breathe," she said as her hand went to her chest.

"Zee, you have to sit down...calm down," he tried to help her to a chair, but she slid down the wall to her knees on the floor as she began to hyperventilate. "Are you okay?" he knelt in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"McGee," she looked at him as tears streaked her face, "Why is this happening? Why is this happening to Gibbs?" she cried. His heart sank...he'd never seen her like this.

"I don't know," he said, and she threw her arms around his neck as she cried. He held her. The truth was, he was just as scared as she was.

"Ziva," they heard Ducky walking up the hall toward them. They both looked up at him, and when he reached them, he knelt next to her and she pulled away from Tim. McGee stood and Ducky put his hand on her shoulder.

"She's having trouble breathing," Tim told him. Ducky took her wrist to take her pulse.

"I am not ill," she argued, "Gibbs is in there, dying," she cried.

"Your heart rate is elevated, Ziva," Ducky told her. "And you're hyperventilating. You're not ill, but you _are_ experiencing a panic attack."

"Ducky, what is going to happen to Gibbs?" she breathed.

"What did the doctors say happened?"

"Sudden cardiac death," McGee answered with furrowed brow. "But I- I don't understand how that could happen. He's healthy and active..."

"Yes," Ducky said as he stood, helping Ziva to stand. He took her to one of the chairs and made her sit. "This particular predicament unfortunately doesn't require warning signs or an unhealthy lifestyle in order to attack," he fetched a bottle of water from his bag and opened it, handing it to Ziva. "Any idea how long...before he was found?" worry was evident on his face. Tim shook his head.

"His lips were blue when we found him," he said with a shaky voice. "No one heard him fall..."

"Ducky," Abby rushed up to him when she caught sight of him as she came out of the bathroom.

"Abigail, dear," he said as she hugged him, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm scared, Ducky," she said, pulling away, "How could this happen?"

"I can't be sure," he took a breath, "But my guess is that the stressful ordeals that happened yesterday took a dangerous toll on his heart. We can only hope you discovered him in time..."

"The EMTs got his heart rhythm back with an AED," Tim told him.

"What I mean to say, Timothy, is while his heart wasn't pumping blood to his brain and other organs, the deprivation of oxygen could cause life-threatening complications," he looked down at the floor, trying to keep a brave composure for the sake of his friends, "Anything up to, and including, brain death..."

Ziva shot up from her chair at his words and rushed toward the front entrance of the hospital, "I need some air," she said as she left. Abby looked at Ducky, then at Tim, then turned to go after her.

"Ziva," she yelled as she caught sight of her outside. Ziva stopped, squeezing her eyes closed as the she remembered when Gibbs had stopped her this same way just the day before. Her face crumbled into sadness and her body wracked with sobs. Abby caught up to her and went around to the front of her, putting her arms around her distraught friend. "Ziva, I know you're scared," she cried with her. "I am too...I don't know what I'd do if...if-"

"Do not say it, Abby," she pulled away from her and wiped the tears with her sleeve. "This is my fault..."

"No it's not, Zee! Don't even say that!"

"It is! Everything that happened yesterday...and what's happening to Gibbs..." her shouting frightened Abby. Ziva saw it, and she closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. "This is Eli's fault," she said as she opened her eyes. "If anything happens to Gibbs-" her sentence was cut short when something in the distance caught her eye. She swiped the lingering tears from her eyes and looked again...

There in the distance of the side entrance, she saw him...her father... He was getting out of a cab and paying the driver. "Abby," she barely whispered, without looking away from the man. "Go inside, quickly. Tell McGee...tell Tony and Ducky—get out of there as fast as they can."

"Why? What's going on?" she asked with fear in her eyes.

"Eli..." she whispered and took off running toward Gibbs' car...

* * *

"Tony, we have a problem," Abby said as she, Ducky and McGee entered his room in the E.R. The nurse was just finishing up replacing the bandage over his wound.

"Is Gibbs okay?" he asked, worriedly.

"We still haven't heard anything," Ducky said.

"It's Eli," Tim told him. "Ziva saw him outside." Tony's eyes grew wide.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"Verifying Ziva's death, no doubt," Ducky assumed.

"Where is she?"

"She told me to come in here and tell you all to get out of here," Abby told him. "She took off running toward the parking lot."

"You guys stay here," he said as he pulled his foot up on the bed and pulled his gun out from his ankle holster.

"What're you gonna do?" McGee asked.

"Kill him," he said as he stood from the bed and made his way to the door.

"Tony, he could have bodyguards," Tim shouted. But Tony continued out. Tim cursed under his breath, "You guys stay here," he said as he followed him out, pulling his own weapon.

He saw him duck into the stairwell and caught up with him there. "Where do you think he's headed?" he asked him. Tony turned to look at him when he heard his voice.

"If he's here to verify Ziva's dead, he'll be up in ICU where he thinks it happened," he said as he climbed the stairs. "Just two floors up."

"Do you have a plan?" he said as he kept up with him.

"I've had this information for thirty seconds, McGee, what do you think?" he barely whispered as they reached the floor. He held a finger to his mouth to signal him to be quiet as he cracked open the door. The first thing he saw was a nurse hiding in the nurse station under the desk. He looked past it and saw Ziva...she was standing with her gun aimed in front of her.

He cracked the door open a little more and saw Eli standing eight feet in front of her. His arms were at his side, and he looked at her with no emotion.

"I thought you were dead, Ziva," he said.

"Disappointed?" she replied with just as little emotion.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you are the one who ordered it." He didn't respond. "Do not try to deny it. You have done this before. And you have hurt the people closest to my heart. You have caused me nothing but pain and sadness."

"I am your father. I am closer to you than anyone. And you are just like me."

"I am nothing like you," she said, her eyes becoming glassy. "And you are not my father..." she pulled the trigger, hitting him between the eyes. And she watched him fall, lifeless to the ground, right where Akim had died...

Tony and McGee burst through the door then, scanning the area for anyone that might have been with him. But they found no one else. Tony looked over at Ziva as she lowered her arms, still staring at Eli's body on the floor.

He holstered his gun and walked to her. His hand went to her back and she turned to face him. Her eyes were red, and as the tears fell, she hid her face in his chest. His arms went around her as she cried...

* * *

"We've run several tests to verify that the damage was minimal," the cardiologist explained to Doctor Mallard. "The CPR Agent Dinozzo performed prevented any damage to his organs. His brain doesn't show any physical signs of deterioration, but only time will tell us for sure...We installed an ICD, which will continually monitor the heart beat and administer a shock if it detects any dangerous rhythm."

*~.~*

Ziva sat in a chair next to Gibbs' hospital bed in the cardiac unit. His upper body was elevated at forty-five degrees. Her knees were tucked up under her chin as she watched the green heart beat line on the monitor, entranced by the rhythmic beeping.

It had been four hours since she put a bullet in Eli's brain. Three hours since Vance and Ducky took care of the situation. And it'd been thirty minutes that she hadn't pulled her eyes away from the monitor next to Gibbs' bed...

* * *

_"Jethro," he heard Jenny, and he turned around. The room had been filled with darkness, but she was surrounded by light. "Jethro, what are you doing here?"_

_ "Jenny..." he went to her and reached out to touch her cheek. She smiled at him._

_ "What are you doing here, Agent Gibbs?" she repeated. He smiled at her._

_ "I have no idea," he responded._

_ "Well, you need to go home. She's waiting for you."_

_ "Who?" he questioned._

_ "You know. I brought her to you. She was given to you for a reason, Jethro."_

_ "I don't understand..." he furrowed his brow at her. She reached up and touched his face, and he closed his eyes and leaned into her soft touch._

_ "Her father is gone now. She needs you."_

_ "Ziva?"_

_ "She's broken, Jethro. She needs you. You hold her together."_

_ "Why did you leave?" he asked her as her took her hand. Her features softened. "I loved you."_

_ "I had to save you."_

_ "You shoulda come to me, Jenny. I coulda helped you."_

_ "You couldn't help me," she put her hand on his chest. "I loved you. And I didn't want to watch you fall apart as I crumbled in front of your eyes." He searched her eyes._

_ "I would've stayed with you...through everything."_

_ "I know..." her hands cupped his face. "I need you to go back home. Be her father...that's what you are to her. I think you know that." _

_ "You gave her to me..." his voice cracked at the realization. She smiled at him again._

_ "Dear Jethro," she said softly, "Take care of Ziva..." He pulled her tightly to him, gripping her shirt in his hands; his eyes squeezed shut..._

* * *

The monitor skipped a beat, and Ziva glanced down nervously at Gibbs. His head moved slightly and he began to open his eyes. She shot to her feet and took to his bedside, taking his hand in hers. He looked up at her, blinking a few times until she came into focus.

"Ziva," he rasped, and she quickly grabbed the cup of water on the table next to his bed and held the straw to his mouth. He drank from it and pulled his head away as he swallowed. "Ziva," he said more clearly.

"How are you feeling?" she said as a tear strayed down her cheek.

"What happened?" he queried.

"Your heart," she smiled through her tears, "Is burdened with pain that is my own." He squinted at her.

"Your father..."

"Is dead," she finished for him.

"I know."

"How could you know?" she asked.

"A little bird told me," he smirked. She let out a small laugh as the tears continued. He suddenly knew what had happened. "You killed him..." he concluded. She nodded; her brow furrowing.

"He came here...to be sure. He was so sure, he brought no one with him." He nodded and squeezed her hand. "I am...so relieved that you are okay," she smiled as another tear took its course down her cheek.

"Don't cry, Ziver," he said and he held his arms out to her. She sat on the bed at his side and leaned over him, accepting his hug. "What the hell did they do to me?" he said as he felt the pain on his chest. She pulled away, worried, until she realized what he was referring to.

"Tony...when we found you, he did CPR for ten minutes until the ambulance arrived to revive you. He saved you." He smirked.

"Guess I can't smack him, then." She laughed. Then she put her hands on either side of his face, just as he remembered Jenny had did in his dream...his eyes closed at the gesture, and he felt her kiss his forehead. His hands went to hers as she pulled her head away.

"I should call them...let them know you are awake," she gently pulled away. He smiled as he watched her walk to the door...

* * *

**Three weeks later...**

"Hey, don't hog all the pepperoni, Probie!" Tony said as he yanked the pizza box away. "I've been working my way up to pizza for three weeks," he closed his eyes as he sniffed the the open box and let out an appreciative sigh.

"Thanks, Dinozzo," Gibbs said as he grabbed the box after unexpectedly entering the bullpen, and headed to his desk.

"Boss!" he stood, "Didn't know you were coming back to work today."

"Not till tomorrow," he replied as he took a slice from the box and handed it back to Tony who was standing in front of him now. "Just here for a meeting with Vance."

"Ziva's up there with him now," Tony said as he took the last slice of pepperoni and took a huge bite on the way back to his desk. Gibbs squinted.

"What about?" he asked.

"Something about Eli, Boss," McGee answered. Gibbs thought for a moment, then laid the slice of pizza down on his desk and stood to go to the stairs.

"This," Tony said with a full mouth, "Is the best pizza I've ever had."

"It's the same pizza we always get," McGee said and he stood from his desk.

"Where you goin?"

"To see Abby."

"Rule twelve, Probie!"

"Don't start with me, Tony," he said as he disappeared into the elevator. Dinozzo laughed through his nose.

* * *

"Excuse me, Agent Gibbs," Vance said as Gibbs came into the office, "But I wasn't expecting you for another ten minutes." Gibbs cocked his head and glanced at Ziva who was sitting in the chair in front of the desk.

"Thought I'd drop in a little early."

"We just finished here anyway," he said and Ziva stood, giving Gibbs a small smile as she passed him to leave.

"Mind if I ask what that meeting was about?" Gibbs asked as he sat.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"She in some kinda trouble?"

"We were tying up some loose ends," he replied. "I assure you, it was for her benefit." Gibbs nodded.

"She told me what you did," he said, "The situation with the Mossad after Eli was killed. I appreciate you helping her out."

"It wasn't difficult, after seeing what he'd put you all through," he stood from his chair and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning back on it. "How are you feeling?"

"Never felt better," he smirked, slightly uncomfortable with the sudden closeness.

"Good to hear. Are there any concerns about the device they implanted, that we should be concerned about?"

"No," he replied, "Just there as a precaution." Vance stood and walked back behind his desk.

"So we'll see you here for work tomorrow?"

"Couldn't this meeting have happened over the phone?" Vance looked at him.

"Probably," he sat. "Guess I just wanted to see if you could make it up those stairs without keeling over." Gibbs smirked at that and stood up.

"Heart didn't stop 'cause I was running," he headed to the door.

"Good to have you back, Agent Gibbs," he said as the door closed.

* * *

"Gibbs!" Abby said excitedly as he made his way into the bullpen. "I was gonna give this to you tomorrow, but McGee told me you were here and I can't wait," she handed him an envelope. "It's a welcome back card. Everybody signed it," she beamed.

"Thanks, Abs," he kissed her cheek as he grabbed his keys from his desk and started walking out.

"You're leaving already?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," then he stopped for a moment. "By the way, you and McGee owe me a new set of sheets for the guest room," he continued toward the elevator. McGee's face went white.

Tony looked at him, a grin spreading across his face as Abby's grew red. Ziva's mouth curled up on one side as Abby hurried out of the bullpen...

* * *

**hahaha! Things are so much funnier when you enter into delirium from lack of sleep ;). Hope you liked the story!! **


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